January The Thirteenth....

Yesterday was January 13, 2008. Yesterday, I went to the cemetery to pay my respects to the death of my Tita's husband. The last time I went to a cemetery was January 13, 2007...the day that changed my life forever. That was the day Kim said goodbye and chose to be with someone else. Exactly a year after, I'm back to a place where I was torn in pieces...

The night before, I finally returned JohnPaul's skinny jeans. I wore that exact jeans the night when I found out about Kim. Exactly a year after, I returned the jeans to its rightful owner.

It wasn't intentional. It was never planned: the jeans, the cemetery, and the dates....everything just dawned on me as I was seated beside my family during the wake.

This is definitely one big sign. Exactly one year ago, the sky was dark and gloomy. But the rain didn't fall from the skies..they fell from my sad eyes. This year, at this exact moment, the sky is so bright, it feels like it's smiling at me. Is it fate? Perhaps a happy accident? Or maybe a freak chance? Whatever it is, I welcome this fortuity...

Do you wanna know your personality?

Read Anthony Dio's blog and I remembered taking this test (http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx) a long time ago. For some reason, I decided to take it again. The results I got were totally different from the last time I took it. I guess your outlook in life really changes through the years....you become a better person...your views about relationships enter into a different level. I don't know if this is the real ME. I was also amazed as I was reading through the results...feel free to take the quz! =)

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

To write or not to write....

I've been having writer's block for the past months. Either that or I've just been avoiding myself from blogging away because I know that I might end up writing things that I've been trying to keep buried in my head.

For those who have been reading my entries, you are probably aware of how crappy my year went. It's frikkin unbelieveable how one miserable event took place after another. They say that everything comes in three's. Well, my problems came in fours, fives and sixes.

But I'm still proud of myself. I'm proud because I would like to believe that I've handled stuff pretty well. Not as well as I expected but hey, I tried. And people who tried to put me down this year may have succeeded, but karma's gunna visit them one of these days. Hahaha!! So there. Good luck to you when karma makes its rounds to your door.

I went to Boracay the week before Christmas. It was a way for me to create new memories there. Before, Boracay made me think of having afternoon shakes at Jonah's with him..or of enjoying Happy Camper (the legendary Paraw ride) and basking under the sun with him..the frisbee games that we used to play or the parties that we'd go to every single night. Or the arguments under the bright moon, and then making up after by strolling by the beach HHWWPSSP (holding hands while walking pa-sway sway pa...hehehe!).

This last Boracay trip, I still remembered. I still got goosebumps whenever I passed by the places we went to. I had trips down memory lane whenever I gulped my Choco Banana Peanut. But it was a great experience because this time, I didn't think of anything or anybody but myself. I was able to have a great, relaxing massage without worrying if he's bored. I ate whatever food I wanted without thinking anymore if he'll like it too. I wore anything that I wanted to wear!!! The best part is, whenever I think about Boracay now, I think about this last trip where I was able to spend a great kick-ass vacation with family. I succeeded!

My next goal is to change my number. I know I'm fine now. But I want to be great. I'm done with being just fine. I want to feel great! And I have to start by changing my number. I know you guys don't understand and I don't expect you to. But this is my way of totally leaving my past behind.

2008 is here, whether I like it or not. I will not make any hopeful wishes of whatever anymore. I've done that last year and look at what it has done to me. I will still welcome 2008, but this time, I will just embrace whatever comes my way. Last year, my motto during the new year was, "bring it on"...this start of the year, I am hoping for a TRUCE. A truce from all the problems...a truce from the drama...a truce from all the gossips..a truce from my past. This year, I'm guna have a break. Watch me....