It's Time To See Things My Way

Leaving 2008...

2008-12-31T13:23:00.000+08:00

2008 passed by in a blur...but before it leaves us completely, I would like to make a shout out to all the people that made my 2008 a meaningful one:

to all the people I've hurt and wronged, I AM VERY VERY SORRY....

to all those who have helped me during my trials, THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all the support, kind words of encouragement and for always telling me to stand for what I believe in.

to all those who have wronged me one way or another, I FORGIVE YOU...hopefully when we see each other in 2009, we could exchange sincere hi's and hello's...we don't need to be friends...let's just all be Christians and live life with no grudges in our hearts.

to my friends, THANK YOU for all the laughter, tears, disappointments, alcohol and kwentuhan...I know I haven't been there that much this year and I thank you for all the understanding and acceptance. Our distance will never ever tear us apart.

to my family, THANK YOU for always being by my side despite my quirks. I LOVE YOU and I wish each of you GOOD HEALTH and BLESSINGS not just this next year but for the years to come...

to the LOVE OF MY LIFE...thank you for being the greatest part of my 2008! thank you for never letting go as we ride this rollercoaster that we call life.. I can't wait for more years of togetherness with you...I LOVE YOU....

Tis The Season For a Starbucks Protest!!

2008-11-13T11:17:00.000+08:00

December is time for collecting stickers for the long awaited Starbucks Planner...Tis is also the season that I get to savor my ultimate favorite coffee drink, PEPPERMINT MOCHA...

I was at my utter disgust when I rushed to Starbucks yesterday, super excited to get my first dose of Peppermint Mocha when they told me that it's not available anymore!!

WTF?!? Starbucks just broke a lot of people's hearts... Bring back my PEPPERMINT MOCHA!!!

Goodbye Friendster...

2008-10-31T05:24:00.000+08:00

I am a member of way too many online networking sites...Priorities, priorities....

Facebook is staying...so is Multiply...I haven't gone to Plurk in ages, and Friendster is overrated. MySpace is a waste of time, and Tagged is no different from Friendster, maybe suckier...

So goodbye to Friendster and the rest...I'm sure I won't miss you...if by next week, you log in and see that your friend list is down by 1, go figure...

The Art of Silence...

2008-10-07T09:16:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through some blogs and came accross an entry from Paulo Coelho. It speaks about how we fight our battles...

it's not really about winning...what matters is how you fought the battle and how you made use of your strength...

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THE USE OF THE SWORD by Paulo Coelho

Every time a sword is taken from its sheath, it must be used. It may serve to open up a path, help someone, or brush aside danger - but a sword is capricious and does not like having its blade exposed for no reason.

This is why a warrior never makes threats. He may attack, defend himself, or retreat; each of these positions is part of the combat.

What is not part of the combat is wasting the force of a blow, by talking about it.

A warrior is always aware of the movements of his sword. But he must never forget that the sword pays attention to his movements, too.

It was not made to be used through words.

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...despite the turmoil, i am at peace...through silence, I have found true happiness...

The Curse Of The Birthday Blues

2008-09-16T15:19:00.000+08:00

I really thought that this year would be different. Generally, I've been really happy the past few months and this has been witnessed by a lot of my friends and family...so i thought that I'd be spared this time.

It just hit me this afternoon....for no apparent reason, I was just down with the blues...again...the same feeling I get ever year, the week before my birthday. CRAP!!

Is there any scientific explanation to this feeling? Is there a pill that can cure this icky downright crappy state? Let me know...you know where to find me...

Oh and for the first time in 30 something years, I won't be throwing a party...maybe next year...we'll see...

Twilight's Second Official Teaser Trailer

2008-07-20T08:23:00.000+08:00

...reserved the fourth book already...and now, the second teaser is out...this is major torture!

Something always brings me back to you....

2008-07-02T13:08:00.000+08:00

Something always brings me back to you...It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch...You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile when I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down......

Something always brings me back to you...It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

Gravity (accapella) - Sara Bareilles

Music and Relationships: An Analogy

2008-06-25T08:14:00.000+08:00

My good friend and Freestyle's guitarist, Tat, once told me that relationships are like music. Most women often hurry towards the bridge of the song while they're still stepping into the verse. We skip so many beautiful lines and melodies because we simply can't wait.

Single girls my age probably commit that same mistake. Maybe it's the pressure of having to see all your friends who are married or engaged, or who just gave birth to their nth child. Maybe it's the age thing and we're almost past our deadline. But for some reason, we end up fastforwarding what we want out of our "meantime" moments and in return, we end up with meantime people...

I am currently at the intro of my song. The melody is kinda catchy at first and the words are full of cheese in it but I don't mind...I like this intro. I'm not sure how short or long this song is going to be but one thing's for sure...I'm definitely gunna take my time before the chorus starts slapping me on the face...

...you were the wind that blew me down...you've clearly swept me off my feet and in my state of vertigo I can't look down...can't feel the ground so will you catch me...

Can't Stop This Thing We Started..

2008-06-11T11:24:00.000+08:00

Lucas Scott is wise for his age (well, the writers of One Tree Hill are).

I can't help but rekindle one of their episodes...this is for EVERYONE who is at their crossroads right now...

"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on path? Will others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be haunted by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or simply give up."

"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment who will you be? Will you let down your defenses, and find solace in someone unexpected? Will you reach out? Will you face your greatest fear bravely? And move forward with faith. Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?"

Season Enders....

2008-06-05T13:14:00.000+08:00

I’m having another Jerry Maguire moment right now. So many things are lurking in my brain and I just need to write them all here before they get lost in the other million parodies and clichés swimming around every minute of everyday in my head.

I hate season enders…instead of happy endings, they give you dark and twisted cliff-hangers that make you think about your own life. Are we always gunna be stuck at the end of a cliff?

I think I’m now starring in my very own season ender. I still don’t know how this story is going to end...but I sure have a great kick-ass theme song for it….

…changed my mind…I don’t feel like writing anymore…

Unfold - Marie Digby

S-T-U-P-I-D!!!!!

2008-06-03T09:35:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.

I love Neil Gaiman for this.................

Monday Mourning...

2008-05-12T08:55:00.000+08:00

...everything will be back to the way it was...wish it was that easy...

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this

--Somewhere In Between (Lifehouse)

Believing in the law of attraction...

2008-04-30T20:35:00.000+08:00

Have you ever read "The Secret"? Do you actually believe that it really works? That a person's thoughts, emotions and beliefs cause a change in the physical world that attracts positive or negative experiences that corresponds to the aforementioned thoughts, with or without the person taking action to attain such experiences (Wikipedia)?

Do you actually believe that you have the power to create your destiny by simply thinking of it and wishing for it with all your heart?

I tried it and believe me, it's not a piece of cake...especially when people with negative thoughts surround you all the time...when situations cause you to think that sometimes, this day isn't going very well...traffic sucks, you're late and you can't find a parking space, money is never enough, yadayadayada...

But it helped me somehow...it helped me see the positive side of things. It helped me become more patient towards waiting for different outcomes in different kinds of situations. It helped me become hopeful. It helped me believe that this universe is one beautiful place to live in.

As usual, I was catching up on my One Tree Hill and the last scene of this particular episode struck me....I guess I'm in the right track after all....

How about you?

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"Make a wish and place it in your heart.
Anything you want.
Everything you want.

Do you have it?
Good.
Now believe it can come true.

You never know where the next miracle is going to come from, the next smile, the next wish come true.
But if you believe that it's right around the corner and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it,
To the certainty of it,
You just might get the thing your wishing for.

The world is full of magic.
You just have to believe in it.

So make your wish.
Do you have it?
Good.

Now believe in it...with all your heart."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

good night everybody!!

The Quest For Sanity

2008-04-24T09:58:00.000+08:00

They say that sanity is the ability to tell what's real from unreal. Some say that sanity is one cozy lie. Others say that it is a madness put to good use.

Whatever it means, I think everyone needs their own dose of sanity. Amidst all the problems that people are facing...amidst the termoil...amidst the hatred, the poverty, the corruption, the complexities that we call life...we need to feel sane amidst the insanity.

I need my dose of sanity. I need my chill pill. I just wanna die for a moment and experience heaven. Just for awhile...

Be Right Back. I'm on my way to my quest for sanity....

......before it's too late.

My Best Friend's Golden Ticket...

2008-03-10T11:00:00.000+08:00

...I'm so proud of my best friend....this is just the beginning...

"Hollywood" Week starts at March 14...Good luck!!! I love you twin!!

So close to reaching that famous happy end......

2008-03-05T12:54:00.000+08:00

This is the perfect movie for people who have been cynical about living in a world with a "happily ever after".

For those who have been blinded by doubt and who have been afraid of wanting to trust in the magic of love, I suggest that you see this movie. I'm not saying that the film will wash your fears away. But just for a moment, maybe, just maybe, it'll make you think that happy endings might still exist.

Maybe...

Anyway, I'm glad that one of my favorite songs from the movie was nominated as Best Song in a Motion Picture.

We’re so close to reaching that famous happy end and almost believing this was not pretend...let’s go on dreaming for we know we are so close and still so far...

He Doesnt' Love You Enough...

2008-02-26T07:37:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: I did not write this piece. But it's just so inspiring that I decided to post it here. It's Ivy's fault. Haha! Anyway, this is for all my girlfriends..

Bato bato sa langit, tamaan ay 'wag magalit....sige, di na ko magagalit.. ;)

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He calls, he tells me he misses me, asks me out often, is relentlessly sweet and thoughtful. I am always on cloud nine and unapologetically unable to wipe the grin off my face. I am in love with him and although he hasn't said so yet, I am sure he loves me back. Herein lies the tragedy.

With men, until he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend, you are not on safe ground. No matter how few the minutes are between his text messages or his phone calls, even if he has tried to hold your hand, carefully picked off the eyelash from under your eye, and wiped the crumb that was perched on your upper lip, assume that he just wants to be friends. Assume otherwise and you’ll be in for a great big heartbreak.

When faced with the same given in the same situation, no matter where they come from, they will all do the same thing. Enter the questions women love to ask:

(1) Why hasn’t he called me the past few days?

(2) If he likes being with me so much, why doesn't he leave his girlfriend/wife for me?

There is just one answer to all these questions: he doesn’t love you enough.

He hasn’t left his girlfriend or his wife for you. Sometimes men are looking for icing on the cake in the form of a woman friend who plugs in all the gap that his better half cannot fill. She is usually somebody with slightly different qualities than his mate. He enjoys being with her, calls her all the time, consults with her about life-altering decisions but does not really come out and make a decision about who he wants to be with simply because he is in a “safe place."

He has the best of both worlds and doesn’t need to make a choice. If he hasn’t left her for you yet, chances are, he won’t. Telltale signs: she is still his priority. When she calls and asks him to pick her up, he hurriedly finishes his meal and tells you that he has to go. When you ask him out on days when he has to take her home, he’ll say he can’t.

You notice that you are only together when his schedule permits it and when seeing you don’t conflict with his time with her. You get the crumbs.

This kind of arrangement only tells you that he doesn’t love you enough to forsake his girlfriend for you. If he takes a chance by leaving her for you, you’re sure that he loves you. Most men would stay with the safe, the tried and tested over risking everything. It takes a lot for them to, believe me.

Obviously, you don’t want to be second best or the pangtawid-gutom. Find someone who will make you his only priority. Although they pretend and seem otherwise, men are not idiots when it comes to matters of the heart. They know full well what they want out of the relationship. They do not need to be rescued by you. They don’t need hints, carefully crafted text messages or highway billboards that promise them a bed of roses with you. If they really like you, they will do anything to get you to like them back.

***author unknown***

Fear..

2008-02-20T20:03:00.000+08:00

Grey's Anatomy gave me so many words and lines to think about...subconsciously, most of the people who are avid viewers of the show live with the hope that these scripts or lines or narrations are true.

Two lines are running in my mind right now...one came from Izzie Stevens.

"Just because people do horrible things, it doesn't always mean they're horrible people"

..think about that. If YOU are reading this right now (I know you are coz you read my blogs..), I just want you to know that I don't think you're horrible. What you did or are doing may not be right but YOU will always have a choice and I know you'll do the right thing eventually.

"It's good to be scared. It means you still have something to lose" (Richard Webber)

...I'm scared now. I'm scared of what the future will hold me. And I don't really know if this line is appropriate but it stung me awhile ago. I have so many fears right now. Shallow fears actually...fears that someday I will overcome...fears that will one day disappear because we simply get immuned to the thought of being afraid....until we become numb...until we realize that we may have lost something or someone...but we will live. Because there's nothing else we can do..but live.

goodnight....

Valentines Day Scrooge

2008-02-14T06:54:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: To those who don't want their Valentine spirit to be ruined. Do not read beyond this point.

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I've never been a fan of this day. Actually, if I would choose a day to scrap out of the calendar, it would be the ever famous February 14. I don't mean to sound bitter just because I'm single. In fact, even when I was in a relationship, Valentines day was one of the days when my ex-boyfriend and I would pick a really big fight. So there. I should actually be thankful now that I am saved from the hassle of having to experience the long line of cues in the restos or having to do early reservations to whatever place I want to go to...or experience the heavy traffic jam (just because it's a payday week too and everybody -- single or in a relationship -- would want to celebrate their joy of love or lack of it). I am saved from the emotional stress of having to fight over the fact that men don't really like celebrating this day.

For me, love should be celebrated everyday!! Don't you think so? So instead of moping around and spreading my hateful attitude towards this day to the people around me, I've decided to just treat this day as if it were just a normal day.

To those who woke me up early in the morning just to greet me, thank you. I appreciate all the sweet stuff that some people sent me. But I hope you're not expecting any special attention today because I'd gladly give you a hug or a kiss or a sweet gesture anytime of the week, month or year...I promise!!!

And just to clear things up, I love falling in love!! I love the thought of one day telling him and showing him the kind of love that I'm capable of giving. Not just on Valentines Day but everyday of my existence. =)

So to those who are in love, who are out of love, who are hurt by love, and who are searching for love, I wish you not just a Happy Valentines Day but a happy life full of love that everybody deserves...

Turning Into A Japanese Biker Chick..

2008-02-11T15:28:00.000+08:00

I am currently recuperating from a looong and tiring weekend. I hosted the Yamaha Evolution 2008 event at the Mall of Asia last Thursday until Sunday. Four days of heat, sweat, motorcycles, and Japanese immersion.

Let's backtrack a little bit: Uchi, Bamboo's gorgeous booking manager, gave me a call a few weeks back and asked me if I was available to host for simple event that didn't require that much energy because it was mostly voice overs and repetitive spiels. Hmmm...the thought was very promising...voice overs for four days wasn't that bad, right? To make the long story short, I was endorsed to a guy named Jude and we closed the deal.

8:30am, Thursday, I drove to Mall of Asia so I could reach the agreed calltime of 10:00am. Traffic was frikkin bad!! I was 15minutes late. Spiels weren't ready. The parking lot set-up was not yet done. The place was full of these dreaded motorcycles. I was wearing my red, 4-inch stilettos and I had to walk a kilometer to reach the agreed meeting place. This is just great.

11:00am, the Japanese bosses called for a meeting. This is the first time that I will be working with Japanese folks so I was a little intimidated and nervous. I heard that they had very high standards and they were the most hard-working and dedicated people in the planet. That made me all the more jittery. Introductions were made, and I had the chance to meet the people that I would be working with for the next four days.

12noon. We officially opened the gates for the test ride and student riding activities. My spiels were basic and simple. All I needed to do was to invite everybody to come and visit the area and have a free test drive of the new motorcycle models. I had to say those spiels every 15 minutes (except during the student riding sessions...I once forgot that the sessions have started, next thing I knew, 4 Japanese guys shushed me...it was kinda embarrassing)

Motorcycles. They've always brought shivers down my spine. I was never a motorcycle freak. For me, owning a motorcycle was inviting danger. It was mind-boggling for me to find almost a hundred people falling in line just to test drive a motorcycle....so, just to find out why a lot of people love the thrill and the action of riding something so dangerous, I decided to give it a try. After 10 minutes of trying to keep my balance, and of mistaking the accelerator with the brakes, I decided to quit. I'll just stick to hosting.

7:00pm. We called it a day and started packing up. I decided to hang at the new Pier One By The Bay first before going home. I didn't want to get stuck in a 2-hour traffic jam so I chatted with the owners and savored some bacon asparagus (try it, it's mouth-watering!!) This branch was by far my favorite hang out place. It's right across the parking lot of the IMAX theater. Looove it!!!

I was dead tired. I thought voice overs were easy. I guess if you keep on saying the same things all over again a gazillion times a day under the frikkin heat, it really will make you tired.

Friday was easier. There were more people but we kinda got into the groove of the event so things went smoothly. I was amazed with how the Japanese worked. I had so much spare time observing the people around me and it was a really great experience for me to be working with these guys. For one, they were such neat freaks! They were so organized, and they followed the schedule by the dot. I was really impressed.

Ogura, one of the bosses was the strictest..and funniest. It was him that I was trying to impress. By the end of the day, I was learning a lot about Japanese culture.

Saturday was the day of the Bamboo concert. I was tired as hell. But it was well worth it because by this time, the people that I've worked with for 2 whole days have become my friends already. They were really cool people. To cut the long story short, I stayed til the end of the concert.

I had a mixture of emotions last Sunday as I was driving to the Mall of Asia for my last day. Part of me was relieved because it's almost over. But part of me was also sad that this was going to be the last day that I'd be seeing the people that I've grown fond of. I'm gunna miss the guys with the Japanese accent telling me "miss, pris announce da nex sessiong en ter dem to fir up registrationg forngm!" I'm gunna miss the yosi breaks and the IMAX restrooms. I'm gunna miss the motorcycles and the mishaps of the wannabe-bikers who pretend that they know how to ride a bike but end up hurting themselves and crashing the new Yamaha bikes. I'm gunna miss a particularly strange person who I grew fond of for the past four days....

I'm back to work now. But somehow, my four-day experience will remain in my brain for a looong time. Motorcycles don't make me queasy anymore. They give me a sense of euphoria. Because every time I see one now, I will forever remember the people and the experience of last weekend. =)

P.S. ---> I've created new memories with my favorite Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha. *wink*

January The Thirteenth....

2008-01-14T09:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was January 13, 2008. Yesterday, I went to the cemetery to pay my respects to the death of my Tita's husband. The last time I went to a cemetery was January 13, 2007...the day that changed my life forever. That was the day Kim said goodbye and chose to be with someone else. Exactly a year after, I'm back to a place where I was torn in pieces...

The night before, I finally returned JohnPaul's skinny jeans. I wore that exact jeans the night when I found out about Kim. Exactly a year after, I returned the jeans to its rightful owner.

It wasn't intentional. It was never planned: the jeans, the cemetery, and the dates....everything just dawned on me as I was seated beside my family during the wake.

This is definitely one big sign. Exactly one year ago, the sky was dark and gloomy. But the rain didn't fall from the skies..they fell from my sad eyes. This year, at this exact moment, the sky is so bright, it feels like it's smiling at me. Is it fate? Perhaps a happy accident? Or maybe a freak chance? Whatever it is, I welcome this fortuity...

Do you wanna know your personality?

2008-01-08T07:33:00.000+08:00

Read Anthony Dio's blog and I remembered taking this test (http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx) a long time ago. For some reason, I decided to take it again. The results I got were totally different from the last time I took it. I guess your outlook in life really changes through the years....you become a better person...your views about relationships enter into a different level. I don't know if this is the real ME. I was also amazed as I was reading through the results...feel free to take the quz! =)

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

To write or not to write....

2008-01-03T14:35:00.000+08:00

I've been having writer's block for the past months. Either that or I've just been avoiding myself from blogging away because I know that I might end up writing things that I've been trying to keep buried in my head.

For those who have been reading my entries, you are probably aware of how crappy my year went. It's frikkin unbelieveable how one miserable event took place after another. They say that everything comes in three's. Well, my problems came in fours, fives and sixes.

But I'm still proud of myself. I'm proud because I would like to believe that I've handled stuff pretty well. Not as well as I expected but hey, I tried. And people who tried to put me down this year may have succeeded, but karma's gunna visit them one of these days. Hahaha!! So there. Good luck to you when karma makes its rounds to your door.

I went to Boracay the week before Christmas. It was a way for me to create new memories there. Before, Boracay made me think of having afternoon shakes at Jonah's with him..or of enjoying Happy Camper (the legendary Paraw ride) and basking under the sun with him..the frisbee games that we used to play or the parties that we'd go to every single night. Or the arguments under the bright moon, and then making up after by strolling by the beach HHWWPSSP (holding hands while walking pa-sway sway pa...hehehe!).

This last Boracay trip, I still remembered. I still got goosebumps whenever I passed by the places we went to. I had trips down memory lane whenever I gulped my Choco Banana Peanut. But it was a great experience because this time, I didn't think of anything or anybody but myself. I was able to have a great, relaxing massage without worrying if he's bored. I ate whatever food I wanted without thinking anymore if he'll like it too. I wore anything that I wanted to wear!!! The best part is, whenever I think about Boracay now, I think about this last trip where I was able to spend a great kick-ass vacation with family. I succeeded!

My next goal is to change my number. I know I'm fine now. But I want to be great. I'm done with being just fine. I want to feel great! And I have to start by changing my number. I know you guys don't understand and I don't expect you to. But this is my way of totally leaving my past behind.

2008 is here, whether I like it or not. I will not make any hopeful wishes of whatever anymore. I've done that last year and look at what it has done to me. I will still welcome 2008, but this time, I will just embrace whatever comes my way. Last year, my motto during the new year was, "bring it on"...this start of the year, I am hoping for a TRUCE. A truce from all the problems...a truce from the drama...a truce from all the gossips..a truce from my past. This year, I'm guna have a break. Watch me....

And the winner goes to........

2007-12-28T08:17:00.000+08:00

Website of the year: Multiply and Facebook!

Person of the year: Trillanes!!!! Harry Potter!!!! ---> coz I watched all 5 movies in a week and I still can't get enough...it's my sister's fault!

Couple of the year: the newlyweds, BJ and Ethel

Night of the year: no night can top January 13, 2007...that was the night when I received that horrible phone call and found out about the news that changed my life forever...CHWEH!!!

Trip Out of Town of the year: It's a tie between my Cam Sur trip (Sept. 14-16) and my Boracay trip (Dec 18-21)...wakeboarding, bamboo bonding, then my great boracay tan with my relatives...

Restaurant of the year: Cafe Benissimo, Eastwood!!! Thanks to their 75-peso lunch meals with free iced tea and background music sung by fake singers..hahaha!

Game of the year: Zuma Deluxe and Prime Suspects

Formal Event of the year: BJ and Ethel's Wedding

Quote of the year: just received this quote yesterday but it really beat all the quotes I've read so far...it's from my favorite movie, CITY OF ANGELS:

Maggie: Why do you wear the same clothes all the time? Why won't you give me your phone number? Are you married?
Seth: No.
Maggie: Are you homeless?
Seth: No.
Maggie: Are you a drummer?

(bwahahahahaha!!!!)

Teacher of the year: my MOM!!

Gift of the year: it sounds cheesy but meeting new friends this 2007 is probably the best gift I've received this year.

Expense of the year: ...paying for my brother's band for the wedding (it's not that I'm complaining that I paid that much...I just wasn't impressed)

New hobby of the year: Listening to Audio Books!!! Answering Surveys!!!

Dessert of the year: Dairy Queen's Rocky Road Blizzard!!!

Dish of the year: Mother's Day Paella (not that I really liked it...it just started an event that turned out to be one big joke...with matching backround music: KWENG KWENG KWENG!!!)

House of the year: Tita Beth and Tito Roy's house at LGV and Uchi's house that we now call THE PORCH!!!

Party of the year: my DIRTY THIRTY PARTY!!!!!!

Drink of the year: COORS LIGHT!!!! Of coors!!!

Mall of the year: TRINOMA...

Haircut of the year: Mariel Rodriguez' do (or Victoria Beckham's to the more shoshal people)...coz it seems like everybody wanted to have the same one...

Panalo picture of the year: the Gretchen photos...and some of the pictures I took that I can't post!! bwahahahaha!!! as my neice, Mica would say, : PATAY KAYONG LAHAT!!!!

Prof of the Year: Professor Dumbledore...hahaha!!!

Sleepover of the Year: I don't do sleepovers

Scary movie of the Year: Jinggoy's latest movie, Katas ng Saudi...SCARRRY!!!

Movie of the Year: Transformers!!!

Funny Film of the Year: skip muna...la ko maisip

Hot actor of the Year: Peter Petrelli!!!!!!!!!

Hot Actress of the Year: The one in transformers...she was so hot I had a crush on her!! hahaha!!

Weight Loss of the Year: definitely not me!!!!!!!!

NU RockAwards 2007...and the winners are.....

2007-12-03T07:05:00.000+08:00

Out of the 15 awards that night, Bamboo had 10 nominations...and out of the 10, they grabbed 6 awards!!! Yahoo!!!!!

Congratulations to you guys, especially to Nates...BASSIST OF THE YEAR!!! Wooohoooo!!! At loooong last my friend...I'm so proud of you...

Vic, in my opinion, DRUMMER OF THE YEAR should be yours and yours alone...hehehe!!!

KAAAAT!!!! Congratulations for winning VOCALIST OF THE YEAR!!! Is it sinking in already? I'm soooo proud of you!!! Mabuhay ang mga Kat!!! Hahahaha!!!!

Here is the complete list of winners:

Best New Artist: Hilera

Vocalist of the Year: Kat Agarrado of SinoSikat?

Guitarist of the Year: Ira Cruz of Bamboo

Bassist of the Year: Nathan Azarcon of Bamboo

Drummer/s of the Year: Vic Mercado of Bamboo and Mark Escueta of Rivermaya

Best Live Act: Bamboo

In The Raw Award: Reklamo

Song of the Year: "Will You Ever Learn" by Typecast

Album of the Year: "Moonlane Gardens" by Orange and Lemons

Artist of the Year: Bamboo

Best Music Video: "DVD-X" by Sandwich (Directed by Marie Jamora)

Best Album Packaging: Sarah Gaugler and Clementine for "Moonlane Gardens" (Orange and Lemons)

Producer of the Year: Lourd de Veyra and Francis de Veyra for "Tanginamo Ang Daming Nagugutom sa Mundo, Fashionista Ka Pa Rin"

Listener's Choice Award: Bamboo

Hall of Fame Award: Mike Villegas and Angelo Villegas

Congratulations to all the winners!!! Rakenrol!!!!

Fake Smiles (Prentending that you're strong..)

2007-11-23T10:21:00.000+08:00

...I have mastered the art so well...

Hitting Rock Bottom...

2007-10-28T12:37:00.000+08:00

People try to look for their own kind of addiction...they chase after the feeling of being "high"...this may be due to a lot of reasons. But there's one evident reason why most people like that kind of feeling...it's because for that short moment, you tend to forget the mess that the real world is giving you...

I'm not just talking about drugs, booze, cigarettes or caffeine...there are so many kinds of addiction that can give you a feeling of euphoria...

Reality check...people who are addicted will always hit rock bottom at some point. The euphoria will die down...and we'll be back to where we started.

Why am I talking about this? Let's just say, I'm hitting rock bottom...don't ask, it's hard to explain...but you know what? I've never made this much sense in a long time...

...I think I'm gunna buy myself new batteries for my pacemaker...I'm ready to breathe again...the cobwebs and dustmites are starting to bother me...i think i'm gunna have to schedule some spring cleaning this december...spring cleaning in december..hmm...sounds ironic...still makes sense to me...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away....

Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you're there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse...

(Meredith Grey)

"Rantless" Thoughts...

2007-10-09T06:49:00.000+08:00

To those who have been awaiting for my ranting moment, sorry but you won't find any today. (Awwwww....)

My mind has been preoccupied with "happy thoughts" lately...I'm back to never never land. I just realized that the small shallow circumstances in our lives, when you sum them all up, make a big difference....

To hell with the gossips that you hear about you...to hell with people who take you for granted! Goodbye to all the friends who betrayed you! (oops...I think I ranted a little bit there...) Let's try to see and uncover the small joys that really matter...

Here's my list:

I have finally given in to my sister's plea of watching the Harry Potter series with her. I ended up getting hooked. What enjoyed me the most is the time I spend with my sister. I love watching her get so engrossed with the movie even if she's seen and read the books over and over again. I wish you could see the sparkle in her eyes. It blows me away.
Funny faces with friends. It's very contageous! Posing for the camera with your funniest face is such a fun thing to do! For that very short moment, it makes you feel like you're a child again. (I will post our latest funny faces with Freestyle soon!)
Dancing alone in your room. It's a great cardio exercise, plus, you get to do whatever dance move you want to do without being embarrassed or conscious of yourself because no one is there to watch you! I've been doing it since last weekend. My favorite pick: Kanye West's latest album (clap clap to my brother for the download.)
I was able to get a hold of those cheesy 70's and 80's love songs last night. These are the baduy songs of this generation. But as my mom and I were listening to it last night, we couldn't help but give out a "haaay" or an "awwww, i remember that song!!!" It was like a trip down memory lane. Songs like Who's Holding Donna Now, Maybe This Time, Bluer Than Blue, Taxi Dancing, So Much In Love, What Do We Mean To Each Other, Very Special Love, Penny For Your Thoughts, Come What May, Hard Habit To Break...etc......On my way to work, I was listening to it and singing with it in the car. I was enjoying the moment so much that I didn't notice how bad the traffik was!

These simple joys make me forget the crappy moments in my life. These short but sweet moments make me realize that sometimes, if we want to search for happiness, we don't need to look far. It's just right in front of us. =)

Have a great week friends!!!

Freud says.....

2007-10-04T09:35:00.000+08:00

"unexpressed feelings will never die...they are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways..."

...lagot......

Sino Si Kat????

2007-09-29T09:26:00.000+08:00

Met her finally (4 times in one day actually). It was just funny the way we were introduced and the way we started talking. We hit it right away coz maybe we have so many things in common. For one, we have the same name (duh!)...second, we're both singers (she's waaaay better though..haha!)...third, we came from the same management, and i was discovered by a band that she was part of before...galing no? =)
It was funny coz while we were talking, when people would shout, "Kat!", we'd both look. Hahaha!! Then Kat would say, "eto talaga yung pwede mong sabihin na 'sino si kat??'"

A tap on the shoulders...

2007-09-26T08:49:00.000+08:00

The thought of being 30 scared the hell out of me...

Call it the "birthday blues"...call it anything you want...but I was just plain miserable. The funny thing was, the past few weeks were ok. No problems at home, work was busy but it was manageable, I was surrounded by great friends who made me laugh, plus I had a great long weekend with one of the greatest bands in the country...I should have been ecstatic!

I wasn't.

Don't get me wrong. I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. Empty? Hmm...maybe. Why? I really don't know.

I guess in a way, I felt useless. If you've been religiously reading my blogs, you'd know that I have this "messiah complex"...I have a need to save othe people. I want to be needed. That's just how I am. Especially with friends. Regardless of how tired I am, I try my best to be there for a friend...to at least listen or share some thoughts. For the past few months, it was me who needed saving. From what? I don't know!

But God has a way of tapping you on the shoulder...a few weeks ago, I received some texts from some friends who have chanced upon by blogs. My blogs actually make a difference! The words and messages somehow touched their lives and made them realize a lot of things. One of my friends even said that she was longing to find someone to talk to about her problem but didn't know who to turn to until she read my blogs. I'm meeting her this week. =)

God is trying to tell me that in my own little way, without me knowing it, I am still helping people. I am still needed. Yey!!!!

I'm still trying to find ME...I'm still trying to answer the never-ending questions that have been occupying a large space in my brain..slowly but surely I will. Everyday, God is trying to tap me on the shoulder so that I could carefully fill up the void in my heart.

There's more!!! Just as I was writing this blog, 3 of my officemates, approached me and asked me how I manage to come to the office with a good disposition all the time. They asked me how I manage to smile despite all the bad gossip I get from some people in the office.

I just smiled and said, "Pangit kasi ako pag nakasimangot eh."

They thanked me and said that my disposition was contagious. One even hugged me and said, "you're a good person."

God did it again. Thanks for the tap! =)

Beautiful Sadness...

2007-09-01T11:07:00.000+08:00

I've been pretty much protective of my heart lately. I haven't allowed anyone to enter just yet because I'm still scared of getting hurt...because of this, one of the guys that I hang out with described me as "uptight"...then he said, "I wish I knew you before your heart was torn into pieces.."

And maybe the reason why I entered into a relationship so soon after my heartache was because I settled. I told myself that this is better because I know that I wouldn't get hurt anymore if I didn't fall in love. I was right. I didn't get hurt. But I was more sad when I was with him than when I was alone. And it was unfair...truth is, I realized that I wasn't ready--to enter into a relationship, to fall in love, to get hurt again.

I don't think I'll ever be ready soon...but I guess at the back of my mind, I'm still looking forward to the thought of feeling giddy again and feeling the butterflies on my stomach and the goosebumps at the back of my neck...

There are a few out there who are trying. And they're fine men. But I still am looking for someone who could tell me that they're worth the pain...that they're worth the sacrifice...I'm not looking for someone who'll promise me that they'll never hurt me or make me cry...let's face it folks..that is one big lie. Let's be realistic here...I'd rather go for a guy who'd make me cry but will make sure that he dries my tears and picks me up after each fall.

Anyway, I got this text last night and I want to share it with you guys...after reading it, I didn't feel sad anymore...or maybe I still am, but I'm thankful that I'm feeling whatever I'm feeling right now.

In one episode of South Park, Stan found his friend Butters who just had his heart broken...sitting on a rain-soaked curb and in tears:

Butters: "Uh, well yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel this sad. It's like..it makes you feel alive, you know...it makes you feel human. The only way i can feel this sad now is I felt something really good before...so i have to take the bad with the good..so I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness"

Help Me...

2007-08-14T19:46:00.000+08:00

"So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really. You give in to a sin like envy or pride, and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself and one or two others. But anger is the worst... the mother of all sins... Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does, you can take an awful lot of people with you." --Meredith Grey

I'm still wondering why there's too much anger in this world. There are times when I wish that all parents were like my parents. Maybe people would be better people. I'm not saying that I'm better than the rest. I'm no saint believe me. But I try to be good. And I know that destroying other people is not a skill that I learned.

I try my best to be a good person....but it's so hard if you're surrounded with anger, envy, and doubt......I was minding my own business......and then people started making a big mess....now I'm lost...I can't find my comfort zone anymore.....

I'm stuck in the middle of lying down and getting up. I want to get up but people keep pulling me down..why?

Being alone for the right reasons....

2007-08-07T16:32:00.000+08:00

I remember the saying: "I'd rather be alone for the right reasons that be with someone for the wrong ones."

I'm facing one of my fears right now. It's not that scary after all....

...he came in my life for a purpose...the purpose is served and now things have to end...no regrets.

I may be single again...but I'm not alone...I have my family and friends.

I'm happy....

I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Mid-year Thoughts...

2007-08-03T08:52:00.000+08:00

It's been ages since I last wrote anything here...

It's past the mid-year and it hasn't rained that much yet....it still feels like summer...what's up with that?? Shouldn't we start dancing for rain or something? It's kinda scary if you ask me...

But I'm happy to say that the millions of complications in my life have passed like a breeze the past few months...I think these 'storms' have taken the place of the literal, real-life, calamity-bearing 'typhoons'...

...I still think we should dance for rain though...and we should probably start to feel guilty that we've pretty much damaged the environment. The ozone is messed up, thanks to us. I'd have to admit, I'm not you're typical environment-friendly person too...I'm a smoker, for one...I use styro, I don't recycle, and yes, I'm one of the contributors to the excessive littering in this country. Bad, bad Kat....so I've decided to make some changes....

- instead of buying bottled water (which I always do), I will just bring my ever-reliable tumbler and get water from the dispenser.

- i will not buy products which are placed in styros (this is a big effort by the way because I'm a fast food junkie)

- i will throw my waste in the proper waste bins (this one, EVERYBODY should do!!)

-i will not stop smoking...yet...i'm not a hypocrite...but....i will cut down on my usual intake....so I guess I have to avoid stressful environments, people, and situations...crap, I should resign then...hahaha!

...my last thoughts about the mid-year that has passed: DON'T HATE, APPRECIATE!!! STOP ASSUMING, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!! I'M WAY PRETTIER, WAY SMARTER AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT PEOPLE LOVE ME...there, I'm happy now!!! =)

(my blog will never be complete without a 'ranting-moment'... )

Kat in all her glory (Narrated by Allan)

2007-05-30T02:38:00.000+08:00

One crazy evening in the office....thank God for crazy friends =)

When Reality Bites Us In The Ass...

2007-03-27T20:54:00.000+08:00

As you all know, I’m now back in the Philippines….

I gave myself a deadline that when I come back, I should’ve healed already. It’s now time for me to move on…I should start picking up the pieces again instead of waiting for someone else to do it for me. I should practice what I have been preaching to my friends for years that we should be the captain of our ship, and that we should stop putting our lives on hold for someone else.

No more looking for men who would sweep us off our feet. No more yearnings of a fairy-tale romance. Enough with the so-called ‘messiah complex’ where we think we can save everybody. Bottomline is, we can never save people who don’t want to be saved. Deal with it. It’s time to wake up to reality.

But sometimes, waking up to reality is not something we really get to look forward to…why? -- Because it bites us in the ass…

Here’s one perfect example.

Did you ever wonder why we end up with men who we know will hurt us in the end? And even if from the start, we know this fact, we still end up pushing through with this so-called “heart-tingling-butterflies-in-your-stomach” kind of relationship? And then while you’re drowning yourself with your own tears, you start telling yourself that you will never fall in love with those assholes ever.

Then you start dating again. You go out with a fine man – a man who has a stable job, who isn’t that good-looking but who is presentable enough to show off to your friends. He’s the type of man who has been saving for the future and who has everything mapped out already in his life. He probably comes from a simple family; he doesn’t have issues, no excess baggage, and is very much available. He’s you’re very own Andy Garcia in “When a Man Loves a Woman”.

He is everything a girl like you needs.

But he means nothing to you.

So you end up, ditching him for your friends, you go to a bar and drink and wallow over the fact that men suck and that all men are assholes. Then you probably meet a very good-looking guy who looks at you and you instantly melt. He’s probably in between jobs at the moment or is trying to run away from his baggage, which is why he’s at the same bar where you are – he’s drinking his miseries away too. Then he buys you a drink, gets your number (you give it of course because he’s too handsome to let go of and among all the ladies in the bar, he asks you) and another “heart-tingling-butterflies-in-your-stomach” kind of relationship is about to come into bud. He’s the bad guy that you’ve been yearning to tame. He’s one of the lost boys that you’ve been planning to save. He’s you’re Shane West in “A Walk to Remember”

It’s sickening, I’m about to throw up.

Andy Garcia is now history. You and Shane West are now in cloud nine.

You let go of the man who was willing to put you together and you chose a guy who is about to push you away. Tsk Tsk Tsk. When will we ever learn?

Oh well, I’m in this pickle. Well, sort of. I met this guy who is very much normal for my taste. He is someone I think my parents will finally like for me. He is someone who is not that good-looking but is okay enough for me. He doesn’t really occupy most of my day-dreaming moments but he’s an okay companion when I’m bored because he’s smart and he tries to make me laugh (take note on the word “tries”).

It’s just scary that I might make another stupid mistake. I haven’t met any Shane Wests yet but I’m surely about to. God, help me.

So till then, we’ll see…I don’t want the last laugh to be on me. *sigh*

I'm Going To Germany!!!

2007-02-28T13:41:00.001+08:00

It's official...I have the proof right in front of me. My passport was delivered this morning with the Schengen Visa in it...I'M GOING TO GERMANY!!!

BEER BEER BEER, get ready!!!!!

13 days to go.......countdown starts...now!!!

Secrets...Betrayal

2007-02-27T14:54:00.000+08:00

"As doctors, we know everybody's secrets. Their medical histories. Sexual histories. Confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a ten-blade, and every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets, we have to, but not all secrets can be kept...

...In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals... that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait."

--Cristina Yang

NEW LIFE...

2007-02-11T12:47:00.000+08:00

Phrase of the moment: NEW LIFE...

This phrase has been running in my brain and has been coming out of your mouth for the past few weeks. NEW LIFE. What does this really mean? To you? To me?

NEW LIFE. It's probably waking up in the morning, thanking God for another day. It's going through the rest of the day with new promises to make and to keep... new beginnings...

It's probably changing your lifestyle into something better....something more stable for the future.

FOR YOU, living a NEW LIFE is waking up every morning beside someone who you will be spending the rest of your life with. And it's a choice that you made. For you, NEW LIFE is leaving your past behind--including your passion, some of your friends, old habits, unresolved relationships. You always say NEW LIFE with a heavy sigh. Why?

Stop feeling guilty."We are left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw you back into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and do your best to move on." (Meredith Grey)

NEW LIFE. I am still figuring it out every minute of everyday. I'm taking it a day at a time. All I know is that this is going to be good for me. For all of us. Everybody needs this. Everybody should say it and do it. NEW LIFE. I can't wait.

........ok

2007-02-07T22:46:00.000+08:00

"The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something, and there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's okay. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams."

--Meredith Grey

....who am i kidding...I'm not okay....everybody thinks i'm ok...i'm not ok.
....at least he doesn't know that i'm not ok...at least i'm trying to be ok.
....i'm guna be ok.
....tomorrow is another day...maybe tomorrow i will be ok.
...i'm guna be ok....i know i will be...i promise....

....i need a drink.....

Enough McDreamy!

2007-02-07T13:33:00.000+08:00

Okay, I know this is old school but I just started watching season 3 of Grey's Anatomy last night. Wow...it blew me away.

First, I realized that everyone is entitled to make his/her decisions. Whether wrong or right, YOU HAVE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCE FOR EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE. You can't just flip a coin and say, "heads, I go for McDreamy...tails, I go for Finn"

Second, your life can undergo a sudden change of events in just a snap of a finger. We all have to be easy on ourselves and wake up to the possibility that you will not be the same person ever. It may be a death of a loved one, or your loved one chose to be with someone else...yadayadayada... But that is part of life...CHANGE IS CONSTANT...ACCEPT IT.

Third, as people, we always pray that we don't experience pain..at all. We need pain. Pain is good. Pain will make us better. Pain is given to us for a purpose. DEAL WITH IT.

Fourth, here's meredith's narration during the last part of the 1st episode: "Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us can want, is more time... Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go."

....there's more...

Yes, I still love my McDreamy. He may have swept me off my feet, he may have made my heart skip a beat everytime I'd see him, he may have been the man who gave me goosebumps everytime he gave me his look. Yes, he may have been the man of my dreams. But my McDreamy wasn't capable of making up his mind. He doesn't know what he wants...he has a lot of baggage.

So I say enough...enough with the baggage, enough with the butterflies in my stomach, enough with the promises he never kept..enough with the secrets.

I need a man who is sensitive enough to my feelings...a man who will try his best not to make me cry...who will go out of his way to prove his worth...who will constantly remind me that he is worth keeping and that I AM WORTH FIGHTING FOR...I need to find my Finn....
...we all deserve a 'Finn' in our lives. McDreamy is great...but just like his name, he will forever remain in our dreams. In real life, it just never works.

Lastly, to all my friends: When you think that the man you are with is TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE....well, he probably is...so cut the cord and move on....because in the end, it just won't work.

I baked....

2006-12-17T21:50:00.000+08:00

This Sunday, I baked..it was fun coz I don't get to spend my sundays at home with my family that much anymore. I got to bake my very own 'chocolate chip cookies' and I had a very special student: my sister. The cookies were for her teachers.

My mom was in charge of putting the cookies in the container.

Hmmm....looks good!!!

Today, we also celebrated my mom and dad's 30th anniversary. We celebrated it in Alba's.

Happy Anniversary Mama and Papa!!!! Mwaaaahhhh!!!!!!

Coffee & Cigarettes

2006-12-02T11:29:00.000+08:00

I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday

I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I thought that if I didn’t go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn’t go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I must quit, I must quit, you

(Michelle Featherstone)

This is for the world I left behind....I have finally moved on....I'm never going to sing again...

November Updates.....

2006-11-28T16:46:00.000+08:00

I haven't posted any entry for the past few weeks...I have been very busy.

I'm supposed to write updates on what has transpired this November but just the thought of recounting what happened the past weeks is exhausting already....

Oh well, maybe next time.....

Choose wisely...

2006-11-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

Received this text last night...I know it's easier said than done but sometimes when we get blinded by love, we tend to forget to take care of our hearts...

Love a guy who calls you BEAUTIFUL instead of HOT...
Who calls you back when you hang up on him....
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
Who kisses your forehead...
Who shows you off to the world even when you're sweaty...
Who holds your hand in front of his friends...
Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on...

Love the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how blessed he is to have you...

Love the one who turns to his friends and says, "that's her...my girl!"

Choose wisely my friends...I'm glad I did!!!

Be afraid of what YOU are capable of doing...YOU might be surprised...

2006-11-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

From Mary Alice of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES....

It's not always that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys.
Sinners can surprise you.
And the same is true for saints.
Why do we try to define people as simply good or simply evil?
Because no one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart.

And that anyone is capable of anything.

Here are some other few words, this time from Capt. Jack Sparrow...

You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. It is the honest man you should not trust for you never know when he would be dishonest...

Good Luck To Me And My Mom!!!

2006-11-02T14:23:00.000+08:00

My mom and I registered for AXN's The Amazing Race Asia Online Race! I was watching CSI last night and I saw the advertisement for the online race. There was nothing to lose, so I discussed it with my mom during lunch, and she agreed to register with me. Yahoo!!!

If you are interested too, you can log on to http://www.axn-asia.com.

The online race will require a team of two (should be 18 years and above), to race from checkpoint to checkpoint online. There are two parts in this race. Teams have to complete the first part of the race in order to qualify and race for the US$2,000 grand prize.

All teams who complete the first part of the race will get a chance to win prizes too!

I'm so excited!!!!

What Mythological Creature Are You?

2006-11-02T10:34:00.000+08:00

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are.
While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need.
Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.
You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

For K

2006-10-27T01:45:00.000+08:00

It's been more than 2 years but I have never been this in love...I have never been this happy...I feel so complete, I feel so free. I am my own self but I still feel that I am one..with K.

I have lived my life loving music. Every agony, every heartbreak, every joy, every memory, I associate with songs..with words that depict what I am feeling at the moment.

I can think of a million songs to describe the joy that I am feeling right now. I just want to embrace this moment forever. Here are some excerpts of the medley of songs that are ringing in my head right now....

NEVER SAW BLUE LIKE THAT (Shawn Colvin)

..And even now, I'm so amazed
It's like a dream, It's like a rainbow, it's like the rain
And somethings are the way they are
And words just can't explain

Cause I never saw blue like that before
Across the sky
Around the world
You've given me all you have and more
And no one else has ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now
Oh, I, I never saw blue like that before

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE FOR ME (Allure)

I've gotten close so many times
Trying to fit in I don't know why
I had to leave behind a dream that could be mine
I thought that I would never find
Someone who's heart could read my mind
Now I don't have to hide cuz you are in my life

I promise you that love won't be easy
I promise you there'll be times apart (apart)
But I swear that it comes from my heart
When I promise you're the only one for me

MAKE ME WHOLE (Amel Larrieux)

I think the angels are your brothers, yeah
They told you about me, said you're just what she needs
And I find myself thanking your mother
For giving birth to a saint
My spirit flies when I say your name
If there's one thing that's true
It's that I was born to love you

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole

You make my dreams
Come true over and, over again
And I honestly truly believe
You and me are written in the stars
I live my whole life through
To giving thanks to you

I love you...thanks for all your efforts...everything right now feels like a dream...I don't ever want to wake up, if even as I close my eyes, I still see you...

Spoiler for Smallville's Episode 4 Season 6

2006-10-23T19:17:00.000+08:00

I am starting to fall in love with the green arrow....I think I smell a collaboration with the Man of Steel and the Green Arrow very very soon....

To Oliver Queen....I will be dreaming of you tonight...I think your arrow just hit me straight to the heart...

Damn it Lois, you're one hell of a lucky woman....

Last Song Syndrome

2006-10-23T01:03:00.000+08:00

After K and I said our goodbyes awhile ago, this was the song playing on the radio...it was really how I felt at that moment. I didn't want to leave...I wanted the time to stop just for a moment and be right beside him...until now, the song is playing in my mind...

COME A LITTLE BIT CLOSER (Brandy)

I know that it's late
And maybe I shouldn't be so into you
It's just that tonight
I am so taken, I've fallen for you
When I look in your eyes I can see
A million possibilities
And I know you'll be leaving me soon
But tonight

Come a little bit closer
Let me hold you baby
I will be good to you
And we can try
To forget tomorrow
And make it last forever tonight

So if you must go
Know that I'll be missing you, wishing you closer
So let's make the most of these
Moments together, we'll never forget
And it's breaking my heart 'cause I know
That tomorrow you'll be miles away
And I catch myself wanting so much more
Tonight

Come a little bit closer
Let me hold you baby
I will be good to you
And we can try
To forget tomorrow
And make it last forever tonight

So if you’re leaving me now
Baby I don't know how
I will ever get over you
Because you opened my eyes
To this love that's inside
Oh baby, don't ever, ever leave me

Come a little bit closer
Let me hold you baby
I will be good to you
And we can try
To forget tomorrow
And make it last forever tonight

You Are Not An OPTION...Don't Lose Yourself In Love

2006-10-19T14:36:00.000+08:00

To all my friends and loved ones who are in a relationship, who are married, and who are single as well, and for everybody reading this, let this be an eye-opener to all of us.

Thanks Lee for the text...this is very very true..this text made me feel so lucky that I am NOT an OPTION..still, I will make sure that I will never lose myself in love, no matter how much love I give...

How can we love people who don't seem to make things work at all?

Why do we become so numb caring for people who at times don't even think of us in a day or two?

Why do we let ourselves get hurt and why do we continue hoping for a love that makes us defenseless?

And why do we prioritize these people who only choose us as options?

Are these are reasons why sometimes in love...we end up losing ourselves?

Just Friends???

2006-10-17T13:13:00.000+08:00

Sad to say, we, as human beings, are curious in nature. We don't just want to see things as it is. We tend to assume or read between the lines when in fact, what you see is just what you get. Gets?

Example #1. When a single guy volunteers to accompany a not-so-close friend to get something somewhere, the friend would assume that the guy likes her and there you have it, a 'moment' has developed (or she would think).

Example #2: When a single girl becomes friendly to a guy she just met and they suddenly have this great conversation over the phone, the guy would assume that they had a 'moment' (or so he thought).

How do we really define 'moments'? How do we differentiate and see the fine line between being just friends or being more than that? Sometimes it's human nature that dictates the answers to these questions. Human nature tells us that when a good-looking guy develops a kind of friendship with a girl (whether single or not), people would think that there is an attraction between them...but no one would really know.

It is very possible for people of the opposite sex to become close friends and not be attracted to each other. Believe me, I've been there. And for my gay friends (who I love so much), I know that it is very possible to become close friends and not have any attraction...

Sometimes, guys are just plain friendly and people should stop assuming. Unfortunately, when girls become too friendly (regardless whether you're single or not), human nature dictates that it's wrong...human nature tells us that this girl is easy or desperate. It sucks I know but if you want to be part of the norm, you have to accept it one way or another.

Why am I talking about this? Well, I am sick and tired of hearing gossips about moments that never really took place...or about imaginary moments that were fabricated by people...I am so tired of listening to stories that this person had a 'moment' with this person, only to find out that the person was just assuming. Lastly, I am sick and tired of people assuming that just because someone is too friendly, he already has a hidden agenda.

I just wish that someday, we would all be open-minded enough to see that friends are friends, nothing more nothing less...let us for once stop wondering whether this guy likes us because he's nice to us or because he's so friendly and fun to be with. Guys need female friends too...and there's nothing wrong with that. Something becomes wrong when you start to have malicious thoughts or when you assume too much. In the end, sinong talo? Diba ikaw din? So why waste your time on pondering on those impossible 'what ifs'?

Just take it as it is...you will be just friends....accept that now...before you end up getting hurt. And to those people who love to assume and gossip, just remember that what goes around comes around. I'm pretty much certain that you wouldn't want the last laugh to be on you..

Just One of Them Days

2006-10-16T13:05:00.000+08:00

I'm suffering the from worse case of PMS ever!!!!! Yup, all the signs are here...crankiness, tummy cramps, migraine, fever and diarrhea.

Worse thing is, I'm allergic to pain relievers! Kat will just go with the pain.........

As our helper would always say before..."oh man!!!!" (pronounced as "ooohhh meeen"), it's just one of them days....so to everybody who i will eventually cross paths with later, please don't take it personal...it's just one of them days....

Don't Take It Personal (Just One of Them Days) by Monica

It's just one of them days, don't take it personal
I just wanna be all alone, and you think I treat you wrong

I wanna take some time out to think things through
I know it always feels like I'm doing you wrong
but I'm so in love with you
So understand that I'm only in love your the only one I need
So have no thought that I want to leave and baby trust me please

Just one of them days
That a girl goes through
When I'm angry inside
Don't want to take it out on you
Just one of them days
Don't take it personal
I just wanna be all alone
And you think I treat you wrong
Don't take it personal
Baby baby baby baby, don't take it personal

I see and I think about every thing we do
And I find myself in misery and that ain't cool
Hey now, I really want to be with you the whole way through
But the way you make me feel inside keeps me confused
As I swing back from mood to mood it's not because of you
I never want you to be insecure,
so won't you understand that I'm only in love, your the only one I need
I'll be there for you when you need me boy, so baby don't you leave

Just one of them days
That a girl goes through
When I'm angry inside
Don't want to take it out on you
Just one of them days
Don't take it personal
I just wanna be all alone
And you think I treat you wrong
Don't take it personal
Baby baby baby baby, don't take it personal
Don't take it personal
Baby baby baby baby, don't take it personal
Don't take it personal, yeah , don't take it personal

Don't take it personal baby
Personal baby, personal baby, personal baby
personal baby, personal baby

Pain...

2006-10-14T21:28:00.000+08:00

Hi friends. I just arrived from Bacolod. I have so many stories to tell, so many pictures to show. But I'm too tired and sleepy from the trip and I think I'm going to be catching a cold..so, I will be sharing with you my great experience in Bacolod next time.

But before I go to sleep, I want to leave you with something that I received awhile ago from Miki..this is for all my brokenhearted friends and for all the people I know who are hurting right now....

Our heart stops for second every time we sneeze...
Maybe that's why sneezing feels good...

Coz even for a second,
we become numb to the pain our heart carries.

Good night everybody...hope to see you soon!!!

Bacolod...

2006-10-13T11:38:00.000+08:00

Hi guys!!! I'm here at Bacolod. We arrived at around 8am, had breakfast with the band (Freestyle) then we went to our rooms...

We are staying at Sugarland Hotel (parang candy factory noh? hehehe....) It's pretty cozy, I'd probably give it 3 stars (coz they don't have a pool!)... =)

I'm bored as hell...thank God for WiFi and for special treatment (hahaha!!!) they provided me with a laptop. We'll be having lunch in a bit, I still don't know where but I heard we'll be eating their famous Bacolod chicken at this famous restaurant here....

Thanks to Winston, I have been given the opportunity to visit different parts of the Philippines. I could say that the domestic airport is my second home. For the past 3 years, I have visited places like Cagayan de Oro, Naga, Legaspi, IloIlo, Bacolod, Cebu, Davao, Baguio, Dagupan, Batangas, Pampanga, and of course Boracay...don't you just love my job? =)

Oh well, I have to go...some of my friends from Bacolod will be giving me a tour (this is my 5th time here)...I love this place. It feels so homey and the people are very very "malambing"...

I will update you guys soon...I have so many things to say. Maybe when I get back, I will be writing an entry about it soon...have a great weekend!!!

One of My Favorite Topics: FOOD!!!!

2006-10-09T13:42:00.000+08:00

Got this from my soul sister, Cat Juan...and since I can sense a lot of tension and sad emotions in my friends' blogs, I have decided to do this entry.

So to all my friends...let us all forget our problems even for a bit and focus on one great topic: FOOD!!! I don't know with you guys but when I'm sad and depressed, I pig out and eat my sorrows away (kaya ako tumataba...kaya ako na-chichismis na buntis...hahaha!!)...feel free to answer this as well. =)

FOOD FOOD FOOD!!!!

Favorite Comfort Food: Lays Classic...or Coffee Crumble ice cream

Favorite Breakfast Meal: Fried rice, fried egg and spam or bacon (but then again, I hardly eat breakfast because I wake up at noon =)

Favorite Lunch Meal: Sinigang!!!!!

Favorite Dinner Meal: Sinigang again!!!! Or grilled food like liempo or tilapia...

Favorite Dessert: I'm not really a dessert person. But if ever, I couldn't resist the cakes at Conti's especially their Sans Rival and Fresh Apple Pie.

Favorite Cake: The cake selections at Conti's

Favorite Pasta: Angel Hair...sauce: carbonara or anything cream-based.

Favorite Dish That Others Find Weird: There's a delicacy in my grandparents' province called Humba..it's a kind of adobo, only oilier and drier...we eat it with hard saba..and then I usually eat banana with bagoong...the best!

Favorite Fruits That You Haven't Eaten In Awhile: any citrus fruit is my fruit...I haven't eaten kiat kiat in awhile (those are the small oranges that we usually see during Christmas season)

Favorite Junk food: Lays Classic or Sour cream and Onion, Pringles Classic or Sour cream and Onion, Oishi Beer Match, and Kim's favorite V-cut.

Favorite TV Show Related to Food (Cooking show, Travel show with food, etc.): Rachel Ray's show at the Lifestyle Network, Martha Stewart's show, before when I was a kid, I'd watch Nora Daza's show every saturday morning.

Favorite Pastries: Cream Puffs, GoNuts Donuts or Krispy Kreme, Bizu's ensaymada

Favorite Way To Eat Potatoes: mashed...I love McDonalds French Fries too!!!

Favorite Ice Cream: Coffee Crumble...or any ice cream with lots of nuts (except walnuts...I hate walnuts)

Favorite Alcoholic Drink When You Really Really Want To Party: this will be long!! Hmmm....Jose Cuervo Tequila, GSM Premium, Jack Daniels with coke, Johnnie Walker Black Label on the Rocks, Carlos I straight up, Pier One's Royal Premium Juniper, Musikero's Zombie, Moksha's Lychee Martini, Summerplace's (Boracay) Shark Attack, and of course BEER!!!!

Favorite Bar Chow: Pier One's crispy pata, Aruba's cheese sticks, Moksha's open wanton, Ratsky's nachos, Side Bar's Pizza (great with beer!), Cencillo's quesadillas

Favorite Chicken Dish: Baked

Favorite Place To Eat With Your Sweetheart or Best Friend: K and I just love eating at home..sometimes we eat anywhere at West Gate Alabang.

Favorite Place To Eat With Your Family: Mongkok or Conti's

Fill In The Blanks: I Wish I Could Eat _____in/at_______with__________: I wish I could eat choriburger at Bora with K.

Scenes From Smallville (Clark and Lana)

2006-10-08T03:07:00.000+08:00

...Everything by Lifehouse.....

The Meantime Guy (For My Single Friends)

2006-10-08T02:36:00.000+08:00

Meantime Guy? He's the one you call when you're bored because he makes you laugh. He's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because he's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. He's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. He's the one you spend time with between boyfriends, before you find "The One". You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime. He's not one of the girls, but you don't look at him as a "real" man, either. He's not bad enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. He's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your female buddies are amused by. He's too understanding, too comfortable ; he doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" man does. But he's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate male companionship, he'll do just fine. You don't have to wine and dine him because he knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of him. He's not easy, but you know that he cares about you and is attracted to you, and that he'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that he'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for him. It won't bother him that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the man you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. He'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call him and tell him how the date went. He's just so cool . . . why can't all men be like that?! But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although he would never say it, it hurts him to know that despite all his good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think he's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly his fault, because he doesn't have to give in to your needs ; he could play the hard-to-get asshole like the rest of them do, if he really wanted to. But you and he both know that he probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe he's too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on his forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given him a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that women want (or think they want) in a man. So he remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for the man of your dreams who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a man. You'll joke to him that he should be the best man at your wedding, and he'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux. He doesn't captivate you with his looks or open doors with his smile. Mainly he blends in with the crowd. He's safe. He doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But he wants to turn someone's head. He wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. He has feelings. He has a heart. In fact, he probably has a bigger and better heart than any man you've ever known because he's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and he likes you anyway. He obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given him nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, he is. Anyway, yeah. I'm a Meantime Guy. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don't know the reason, really, and at this point I don't even care. I just want to let every girl know who's ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Guy that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we won't be around...

Mo Twister, Magic89.9, and Episode 2 of Smallville Season 6

2006-10-07T16:37:00.000+08:00

I am currently downloading Smallville's second episode. While waiting for it, I was channel surfing and came across GMA 7's show, Star Talk. They were interviewing Mo Twister and they talked about how he has insulted a lot of people from showbiz.

I have been a supporter of Magic 89.9 since I was in high school. I even remember listening to them every friday just to listen to Joe D Mango's Love Notes, and I would religiously listen to Mo Twister and Miles' show. I am happy to say that I have gained a lot of friends from the station. Regardless, I will not be biased with my comment about the interview I just watched minutes ago.

First of all, I am very much entertained by Mo Twister's show in the morning (together with Mojo Jojo and Andy 9). I will admit that I very seldom get to listen to their show because I am still asleep at that time, but everytime I tune in at that time, I always find myself enjoying and laughing my brains out. I commend Mo's integrity and his honesty awhile ago. I commend his braveness and his straight-forward way of answering all the questions given to him by Butch Francisco. Most of all, I commend the way he apologized to the people he offended. With regards to the issue of people being hypocritical, I am on his side. His show is no different from The Buzz or Star Talk or S Files. These shows meddle and get inside the personal lives of a lot of actors and actresses. So why cast the stone on him and his show? Radio is no different from tv. I don't see why people, especially those in showbiz, make a big fuzz on his radio show. It just means that his show is very effective and a lot of people listen to it!

Lolit Solis should just keep her mouth shut. Mo is right, she is more than double his age but in my opinion, when it comes to credibility, she has none...and she is more immature than any middle-aged person I know...that's all I have to say.

My Smallville is ready...til my next entry!!! =)

10 Things I Hate About You...

2006-10-07T01:45:00.000+08:00

Here is one of my favorite movies...I wrote a blog about it entitled "I Hate That I Don't Hate You...this is my favorite scene in the movie.

CLARIFICATIONS: The Real Reason Why I Left UNITY

2006-10-07T00:27:00.000+08:00

I don't know whether to laugh or be insulted with the different versions of why I left the band. So once and for all, I will say my piece and then shut up... (parang The Buzz)

For the past weeks, I have heard so many versions from different people...

TRUTH or MYTH...

* I was kicked out by my band mates -- MYTH!!! (I would like to believe that my band mates love me very much. In fact I was the one who called for the meeting and I was the one who said my goodbyes...I had never encountered any major problems with any of the members and they are like family.)

* I am pregnant -- MYTH!!! (just because I have been wearing loose tops during my last few shows does not mean that I am pregnant. I just gained weight. And just because I gained weight doesn't mean I'm pregnant either )

* I am getting married -- MYTH!!! (I wish! Hahaha! But no, I'm not getting married...it is still not part of our plans...sorry to disappoint you guys, and I'm sure there are also a lot of people who are happy to know that )

* I am pursuing a solo career -- MYTH!!!! (hello???!!! If I wanted to have a solo career, I would have done that years ago. But I choose not to. Why? Because I love Unity and I love John Paul)

* I am putting up my own band -- MYTH!!! (There is no other band that I would want to be with but with UNITY...end of story)

Here's the real deal. I love singing dearly and leaving the band really breaks my heart. But there are certain things in life that we have to do. There are certain decisions that we have to make not because we want to but because we need to. I am not getting any younger and I have so many responsibilities to fulfill --as a daughter, as a sister, and as a person. I will never leave my passion for singing. It will always be there. But there are some mature decisions that I have to make before it's too late. I know that in the long run, my decision will not only benefit myself but my loved ones as well.

Yes, I dream of getting married. Yes, I dream of becoming pregnant --one day...when I'm ready. But for now, I will be going back to the corporate world. I have been hearing a lot of insights from my friends about my decision. Some are for it, some are against it. But the most important thing is, everyone who knows me and who loves me are very supportive of my decision.

It didn't take me overnight to decide upon this. It took me almost 2 years to think about it. And I am happy that even if a lot of people that I love are against my job (I don't blame them...they just love me), they still supported me and accepted me. It is my turn this time to return the favor.

As I always say, I loathe the thought of regrets and 'what ifs'...I will make this work...I promise.

Words of Wisdom From Sex & The City

2006-10-06T18:14:00.000+08:00

I have been receiving this email a hundred times already but I never get tired of reading it. It makes so much sense. I think this should be every woman's credo..

Here is my say to this entry: let us all remember that we should be the captain of our ship. We shouldn't put our lives on hold for anybody. I know it's so easy to say it but it's so hard to do. And yes, those who really know me would tell me to practice what I preach. I guess we are all guilty of giving too much and getting so hurt in the end. Bottom line is, we should savor every experience and be ready for the consequences that come with it.... here are some of the lessons learned in the HBO Series. Let us all learn from our best friends, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte...

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM SEX & THE CITY

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Don't force an attraction.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.

Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

There's ONLY ONE 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

Always put yourself and your happiness first.

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

If he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.

Be honest and upfront.

Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).

If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.

You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself - double standard.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

Don't compete with other women, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.

If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.

Actions speak louder than words.

Never let a man define who you are.

NEVER rely on a man for compliments, look to YOURSELF for that.

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.

To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.

Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1person in your life.

Love is a verb ....

Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

If you don't love yourself...you can't love anyone else.

You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

When Are We Ever Going To Be Happy?

2006-10-04T15:08:00.000+08:00

I got this email. It's very true. It made me think about what I have right now and what I want in my life...then I realized that life is just one big simple puzzle. We are the only ones making it difficult. We try to figure out the puzzle but we are blinded to what's right in front of us. We are asking for more...we are looking for missing pieces...or we're trying to fit the wrong piece of the puzzle in the wrong place.

When are we ever going to be happy?

...when we convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another? Then we get frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

...when we tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation, or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now.

If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with... and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting...

Until your car or home is paid off.

Until you get a new car or home.

Until your kids leave the house.

Until you go back to school.

Until you finish school.

Until you lose 10 lbs.

Until you gain 10 lbs.

Until you get married.

Until you get a divorce.

Until you have kids.

Until you retire.

Until summer..

Until spring.

Until winter.

Until fall.

Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don't need money,

Love like you've never been hurt,

And, dance like no one's watching.

The Return of Kal-el

2006-10-02T19:14:00.000+08:00

I just finished watching the season 6 premiere of Smallville.

It was breathtaking.

Welcome back Kal-el. I knew you would defeat Zod...

I am loved...

2006-10-02T15:18:00.000+08:00

Despite the storm that destroyed our weekend and damaged a lot of properties, despite of me leaving the band, despite of the million questions in my brain that cause a lot of confusion and sleepless nights, I am still loved.

I am loved because....

....my brother wakes up at 4:30am just to bring me to the airport when I have out of town hosting gigs and shows because he doesn't feel safe for me to take the cab.

....my mom makes sure that everything in the house is in order. She is my role-model.

....my family accepts all my flaws and still loves me very much!

.....Kim lives in Laguna but he'd make sure he picks me up at the airport when I get back from my out of town gigs. He worries about me to the point that when the storm screwed up the cell sites, he went as far as Caltex SLEX just to call me to check up on me.

....I have friends who send me loving messages and supports all my decisions.

....I have John Paul who is hurting that I have to leave but still he understands my situation and despite our separation, he reassures me that nothing will change.

....I have met new friends who show concern and help me out with my job-hunting adventure.

So whenever that I feel that life is tough, I just try to remember all the people who love me..I am really loved.

Smallville Cast

2006-09-27T16:24:00.000+08:00

Forgive me friends...I am just so excited....I couldn't help myself.....here are pics of the cast of season 6 of Smallville...

Left to right: Justin Hartley (Oliver Queen/Green Arrow), Aaron Ashmore (Jimmy Olsen), Allison Mack (Chloe Sullivan), Erica Durance (Lois Lane), Tom Welling (Clark Kent), Kristin Kreuk (Lana Lang), and Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor)

...Tom Welling (Clark Kent)

...Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor)

...Kristin Kreuk (Lana Lang)

...Allison Mack (Chloe Sullivan)

...Justin Hartley (Oliver Queen/Green Arrow)

... Aaron Ashmore (Jimmy Olsen)

Thanks to Kryptonsite for the pictures.......I can't wait!!!!!!!!!

Smallville's Season 6 Premiere

2006-09-27T15:50:00.000+08:00

I found out that Smallville's season premiere will be out this thursday, september 28...I couldn't wait!!!

I heard that there will be another love triangle blossoming....the lex/lana/clark and the lana/clark/chloe triangle will be replaced by the Clark/Lois/Ollie triangle...hmmm...So, Lois, who will it be... the Emerald Archer or the Man of Steel?

"And one other thing: You're not working with me, you're working for me. I call the shots, I ask the questions. You are low man, I am top banana. Comprende?" -- Lois Lane

I Hate That I Don't Hate You!!!

2006-09-27T02:52:00.000+08:00

Don't you sometimes just want to scream out of frustration whenever you feel that you're right and your better half doesn't give in? Don't you feel that life is just so unfair and women are really from Venus and men are from Mars?

It's funny how we sometimes get so angry at ourselves for wanting so much to fight for what we think is right but then we try to stop ourselves from doing it because of the fear of having to undergo too much drama or having to drain ourselves of too much frustration knowing that nobody will ever give in (especially when you're at the heat of the argument)? Instead, we count to ten, breathe in, breathe out, and wait.....

Thing is, technology has taught us to become so impatient! Cellphones, SMS, and other devices have made things easier for us, but it has also created a sort of 'need for emergence' (whether important or otherwise)...we want answers NOW! ASAP!

I love K dearly...but sometimes, there are things that women and men will never understand and we just have to leave it at that...and maybe, because of that love that I have for him, I cannot find it in my heart to hate even a nail in his body.

The other day, I was watching 10 Things I Hate About You and I remember the poem that Kat (how ironic) wrote for her school project...I just want to share it to all my friends who are caught up in a relationship...this poem just goes to show that there is no such thing as a perfect couple...that there will always be things that we will not be liking about our partners, but then it would not matter because in the end, we will still love them no matter what happens...it is true that people are superficial and that people want perfection, but when it comes to the one you love, the bucket of tears you cry, the number of sleepless nights, the million times you'd have press cons with your friends would never matter...believe me...

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Surreal...

2006-09-26T13:16:00.000+08:00

It's going to be a surreal moment for me later. For the first time, I will be going to Pier One, as usual for UNITY's tuesday gig but this time, as a spectator..

I'm still feeling a little iffy whether I'm going or not, but I have to. I have to make sure that the transition runs smoothly. I have faith in the new vocalist, Melanie. I heard she sings well...and she's pretty, so I feel safe and secured that Unity won't be having a hard time adjusting..

Breathe Kat...every thing's going to be ok....it's really really sinking in now..wait....not yet...oh well...tomorrow is another day.

Pictures during the Winston In Concert Series

2006-09-25T14:58:00.000+08:00

Here was my birthday bash pics with Parokya and my friends from Winston....

...with Mondo of Pinup Girls

...uso pa ba, ang harana???

...my birthday cake..thanks Winston, thanks PAPs, thanks Chingsss....

...Siena, Mokkers, Chito, and Kaye...

My New Hairdo!!!

2006-09-25T00:36:00.000+08:00

I was a little skeptic to have my haircut awhile ago...I have had my hair long for four years already and I just had it permed recently....but then, I have been encountering a lot of changes lately so, what the heck...might as well have it done...who knows, right?

Surprisingly, I'm getting the hang of it...Kim loves it....that's all that matters. =)

Parokya Ni Edgar, Winston, and More Thank You's.....

2006-09-23T15:23:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I hosted the Winston In Concert Series: Wings Tour 2006 with Mondo at Xander's Bar, Ortigas. Parokya Ni Edgar was the featured band last night.

I love Parokya Ni Edgar..I practically know the lyrics to all their songs and whenever I host the Winston series (this is my 3rd year now) and Parokya is the featured band, I get so excited because of Chito's spontaneity and their great songs...

I had the surprise of my life when Chito suddenly called me and serenaded me with my favorite song, HARANA...and with the song, was a cake from Winston and PAPS Productions...I was so elated! I was in cloud nine again last night. It was a very touching moment for me (pictures to follow!!!) Imagine, one of my favorite bands, singing my favorite song, FOR ME!!! Wow!!!! I was speechless!!! I can't wait for september 29 and 30. I will be hosting again at Naga and Legaspi with Parokya...

Special thanks to Winston, JT International especially to Edward, Dessa and Dick Sugcang...I love you PAPS productions...thank you Manny Ongkiko, Sienna, Mokkers, Roman, Leslie and Sherwin...you guys are the best!!! I also had a blast hosting with Mondo....I miss Harry though...

Thanks to Lee, my two chingching girls Ana and Miki, Josh (even if he forgot my 3 cheese sandwich at Coffee Bean), and Pio....thanks for consuming the 2 cases of LONESTAR LIGHT...hahaha!!!

Last sharing....I felt elated too that there were so many people who wanted to take pictures with me...for a moment there, I felt like I was a star...it was a great way of ending a great night...that's it!!! I'm never going to quit hosting!!! Hahaha!!!!

Thank you..........

2006-09-22T14:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my birthday at PierOne the Fort...it was also my goodbye show...thanks to everyone who came...I am very grateful to everybody.

Thanks to my family...they are my life, I love them so much. I am happy that my Mama, Papa, BJ, Marielle and Ethel were there...thank you for being there.

Thanks to Kim, even if he was sick last night, he made sure he was there during my special night. Thanks for the song. You will always be my Clark Kent...my savior.

Thanks to my radio friends, Paolo Tolentino and Joey Agustin (Lil Joey)....you got your wish...you made me cry..thanks for the cake!!!! To CJ, I know you weren't there but I'd like to thank you for playing my favorite Smallville song on the radio (even if it wasn't part of the playlist....it meant a lot)

My soulsister Cat Juan, Seph and Ramon.....thanks so much for being there...you are already a part of my life and your presence really made a difference.

To the DPC People and to the Blue Team (LBC)...I may not be singing anymore but I know that we will still cross paths soon...

To my artist friends, Jimmy Bondoc, Luke Mejares, Wings Soriano, Coline and AJ of Silk, Nestor of Classified, Escape (particularly ROMMEL--happy birthday kuya!, Mike, and Tope) thanks for jamming last night!!! Love nyo talaga ako...

Gibet and Kenneth, Clarizelle Marino (my booking agent/confidante/friend/gimmik buddy), thanks for being there....

To my high school friends, Roanne, Kathie, Ingrid, and Elaine...I was really touched that you could make it despite your very busy schedule!!! See you at the bridal shower!

To Ate Rocelle and Kuya Butch, you are already my family...thank you for making me feel like I am already a part of your lives...I really hope you hade fun!

Special mention to my very very very good friends, Melani, Fabio, Adrian, Lee, Miki, Ana, Al, Marvin, Pio, (oh my, I hope I didn't miss out on anybody else...)...I will still sing Stars Are Blind For You...Yancy, thanks for the 'show'...hahahah....mwah!!! you guys are the best!!! Thanks for always making me smile!!! Forever and ever na to.....

To those who greeted me thru text, ym and email, thank you very much, you know who you are...

To my best friend...JohnPaul Quijano Dizon...I love you forever and ever...you will always be my best friend.....please don't be sad anymore. I love you. I will never leave you. We may not be working together anymore but you are always in my heart and I will never let anybody as in ANYBODY hurt you. That's how much I love you......I want you to be happy always....tandaan mo yan....

UNITY is my family...I will love them forever...the memories will forever be in my heart. Ige, Emil, Tyrone and Dave....I don't care what other people say....for me, you guys are the best!!! (after Kim shempre...hehehe...love your own)

This is not yet goodbye........this is a start of something new...something greater....let's just say that we're all growing up and we're all going to have to accept all the changes that will come our way...and you know what? I have a feeling that it's going to be for the better. The friendship will never end...It will be there forever. I love you!!!!!!

For Girls Only!

2006-09-18T01:47:00.000+08:00

Got this text from Miki...it was so true that I had to write it in my blog...thanks ching...

Only our girl friends understand:

Emergency calls at 2 in the morning.
No matter how many times we watch the same tear jerker, we'll always weep in some scenes.
Why shopping is always therapeutic.
Why we have to go to the bathroom in groups.
Why we can leave anything and everything at home except for our cellphone and vanity kits.
Why we feel naked without our earrings.
How we could spend the whole day together and still have tons to talk about on the phone.
That boyfriends come and go but REAL FRIENDS...they will never leave your side..

Moments of Love

2006-09-18T01:34:00.000+08:00

I've decided to watch this movie for the second time. To be honest, I have also been an avid fan of Tagalog movies (especially the ones from Aga Mulach, Regine Velasquez and yes, my secret idol, Sharon Cuneta)

The story is about two people who have met through a weird circumstance by a phone conversation. Love sparks...so they decide to meet only realizing that they are living in 2 totally different eras of time. They are 49 years apart to be exact--Divina, who lives in the year 1957, and Marco in 2006. They made a promise that one day, on March 29, 2006, they will meet again..

I loved the story. I loved the concept of the movie. I loved the way the main actors portrayed their parts..in my opinion, they fit the role perfectly. This is the kind of movie that I would want to watch all over again. And everytime I do watch it, I know that I will be consuming a lot of Kleenex.

There was a conversation in the end that really made me think. It made me wonder whether this kind of love was just possible in the movies, or maybe, just maybe, for hopeless romantics like me, yes, there may be a little chance of hope that it may be possible.

After 49 years of waiting, Divina told Marko this line: "Destiny dictates everything that happens in this world. Even in LOVE. LOVE is blind to TIME...LOVE SEES NO END...Countless things can happen as time takes its course. But only one thing endures...LOVE."

To all my single friends, and to those who have been waiting for 'the one', here is something I learned from the movie: You shouldn't get tired of waiting, because you know in your heart that he or she will come. And you will love each other for the rest of your days. Some call it choice...but mostly its DESTINY.

Happy Birthday BabyBoy!!!!!

2006-09-17T19:37:00.000+08:00

You're a year older Baby...but every year, you have touched people's lives and have added a lot of great memories to the people close to you because of your mere presence in this world.

Thanks for your patience...thanks for the love...

My wish is for you to be happy because you deserve it..I will love you forever...even if your tummy gets bigger and bigger everyday... =)

The Truth About Being TRUTHFUL

2006-09-17T17:58:00.000+08:00

It really is true that 'the truth will set you free'...

It really helps if you vent out all your questions, your qualms, your confusions to someone that you trust..

I received a text awhile ago (thanks Miki) and it struck me again like lightning..."There are FRIENDS who destroy each other, but a REAL friend sticks closer than a brother...

And if you are a Smallville fan, you'd know that Lex Luthor would repeatedly say that "You should keep your friends close and your enemies closer"

A few days ago, I opened up to a friend about something that has been bothering me for the past months already. And because I have been keeping it to myself, I have had questions that have been unanswered. I am very thankful for that conversation because it lifted a heavy burden in my heart (thank you Coline)

Apologies were made...and I'm wishing that they were accepted...

Still, I know that this is not yet the end...I feel bad that I may have destroyed a friendship that has been built for years. Now I am realizing that even if you mean well...that even if you try doing the right thing, there are still consequences. I feel a certain relief for being truthful about some things, but I also feel a tinge of guilt that my truthfulness destroyed or should I say created a rift among friends.

Now I'm starting to wonder if I did the right thing or if I should have kept my mouth shut...

Again, I am back in this familiar place called limbo...

Happy Anniversary, PierOne Fort!

2006-09-15T12:54:00.000+08:00

My soulsister, Cat and I had a blast!!!! And of course, thanks to COUSIN Maui for the pics....

Sinking In...

2006-09-14T12:37:00.000+08:00

It's starting to sink in...less than a week from now, I will be having a total change in my life...

Every song I sing now has more meaning...every melody enters straight to my heart..

Involuntary tears run down my face...

The stage is my place of solace...I am who I am...

I fear the thought of crossing over..the afterlife is still vague...it scares me.

Help...

Wanted: Universal Remote Control

2006-09-11T14:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, before meeting up with K, I decided to go to metrowalk and check out the new DVD selections..being the loser that I am, I haven't seen the movie, "Click" yet. So, I purchased one (including seasons 1 and 2 of Grey's Anatomy--thanks to Caz, she has convinced me that it's worth the watch..and since I've finished my Smallville marathon, I needed to keep myself busy during the wee hours of the morning).

There I was, in my bedroom, 12midnight (just after my CSI Supreme Sunday marathon at AXN), wondering what to do next....I almost forgot I had my new DVDs. I popped the Adam Sandler movie in my player, got myself some movie-theater-butter popcorn, made myself comfortable in my favorite corner of my room and started the movie.

Here is a snippet of what the movie is about...I got this from Yahoo! Movies...

A workaholic architect, who has been overlooking his family in favor of his career, comes across a universal remote that allows him to perform TiVo-like functions on his life, such as pausing events or fast-forwarding over them. When the remote begins creating its own memory and choosing what to fast-forward over, the man sees how much of his personal life has passed him by and realizes the importance of spending more time with his family.

I have been a fan of Adam Sandler eversince, from Happy Gilmore to The Wedding Singer to 50 First Dates...he really cracks me up with his funny antics and witty toilet humor. It was also fun watching some of the cast of his old movies portray funny parts. Of course, Rob Schneider was there in a bit role as the funny Arabian prince, Sean Astin (who was Doug, Drew Barrymore's brother in 50 First Dates) played a part too...

I cried laughing my brains out and at the same time, I cried because the movie touched my heart and made me realize how we should grasp and cherish and appreciate every experience that life has to offer. Yes, sometimes, we'd wish that we could own a universal remote control that would just fast forward all the crappy moments of our life..and sometimes we'd wish that we could just pause all the moments that we feel our happiest. But the movie just made me realize that God gave us the free will to decide on what we want to undergo in our lives. And with those choices are consequenses. All we have to do is savor each moment, whether good or bad, and hope that something will be learned through that experience.

This movie is a must see. I reccommend this to the workaholics out there, to those who are stuck with their routine, and to my friends who feel that their life is full of drama. After the movie, you will start to realize that the drama we experience, the storms that come our way--they're just preparation for something brighter...something that you'll know is worth it in the end. Be patient..we don't need to fastforward our lives because you'll never know what you're gonna miss.

Natural High!!!

2006-09-10T21:04:00.000+08:00

No offense to some people I know but if you really want to be happy, and if you want to have a great time, natural high is still the best...of course, with a little help of my Winston lights and beer...hahaha!!!!

Miki Maus!! Thanks for the pictures!!!

Adrian's Birthday

2006-09-10T20:43:00.000+08:00

Another unforgettable birthday party!!! Happy birthday Aids....thanks for the friendship...stay happy always....

hehehe...one comment though...of all these three pictures, I don't see Adrian...Aids? Aids?????

Goodbye and Hello....

2006-09-10T19:53:00.000+08:00

September 21 is a very memorable day for me....for starters, it's a reminder that I'm getting a year older (bummer...)...but, I believe that I have had the best 20 something years of my life! It was one hell of a ride but the view was breathtaking. I stumbled so many times but I would like to believe that I have managed to stand up again amidst all the trials that have been trying to push me further down...God has been so good to me! I am thankful for all the happiness and trials, for all the joy and the pain, for all the love that I gained as well as the love that I lost...

September 21 will also be my formal announcement to my close friends, loved ones, and supportive following of my carreer that I will be saying goodbye to singing. Permanently? I still don't know. All I know is that this is one decision that I had to make not for myself but for the people that I love the most...and I know that this decision of mine will make them very proud.

It still breaks my heart that I will be giving up my passion...this is something that I have dreamt of since I was in my toddler years I guess. But I am still thankful to the Lord that He gave me that chance to fulfill my dream. Now it's time for me to move on and think of what's best for my loved ones.

So now, I'm saying goodbye. Goodbye to the 4 years of great memories..Goodbye to my dream of our album turning platinum...Goodbye to my funky boots and attire that I can only wear during my shows...Goodbye to the heartwarming notes I get from our avid followers...Goodbye to UNITY....

Tomorrow will be another day...I am looking forward to saying hello to my future...hello to the new people I will get to work with...hello to a new life with Kim...hello to a better relationship with my family...hello to my future children...

My life hasn't stopped...it's only the end of another chapter...I can't wait to write the next one..I will keep you posted.

My Celebrity Look-alikes....

2006-09-08T14:11:00.000+08:00

I was blog hopping the other day and I saw that one of my soulsister, CAT JUAN's contacts had this so I checked out the site....it's pretty amazing!!! hahaha!!! you should try it...it kinda boosted my self esteem. =)

To My Very Own Clark Kent.....

2006-09-06T14:17:00.000+08:00

This past year was very rocky for K and I...but we have managed to surpass all the storms that went our way. We celebrated our 2nd year anniversary 3 weeks ago and that just made me realize that there's no one in the world I want to be with but K...he is everything to me. It sounds super cheesy but it's true. We hardly see each other but everytime I close my eyes, he is still there. (So to all the people trying to break us up--you know who you are, you pitiful souls--better try harder coz we're unbreakeable)

I'm a fan of smallville and there was a song there by lifehouse that describes how K is to me....every word speaks about how I feel right this very moment..(ok, ok, I will not take credit for discovering the song...it was actually CJ who made me listen to it and the moment I heard it, I fell in love with the song instantly..so there, CJ, the credit is yours..hahaha)

Everything (Lifehouse)

Find me here
Speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That is leading me to the place where I find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You are everything
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this
You calm the storms
You give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won’t let me fall
You steal my heart and you take my breath away
Would you take me in
Would you take me deeper now
’cause you’re all I want
You are all I need
You are everything, everything

Marvin's Birthday

2006-09-05T14:09:00.000+08:00

I'm happy that Marvin decided to spend his birthday during our show at Pier One Roxas Blvd. We had a blast...I heard there's a part 2 later at Pier One Morato...I can't wait!

I'm also happy that I have friends that remind me of how lucky I am that I am blessed with so many talents. They keep me grounded and they are so supportive of all my decisions, no matter how hard they are. And when I'm at the brink of giving up, and when I think that life is really giving me a crappy time, they are there to remind me of how great this rollercoaster ride is. When I am with them, I am reminded also that I don't need to put my life on hold for anybody or anything because I am the captain of my ship and that I should be determining my own happiness...

Kami nAPO Muna....

2006-09-05T13:16:00.000+08:00

I went to visit my Magic jock friends yesterday at the station. Actually, I've been spending a lot of time with them lately and it feels good to reconnect again with old friends, and meet new ones.

I was at Eastwood last saturday to hang with them and to watch South Border's farewell show before they left for the states. As usual, they rocked the house. Eastwood's central plaza was jampacked with people so we decided to chill in front of the Magic booth right across fusion. They had couches there, so it was quite comfy hanging there with my close friends. I'm glad that I was able to meet mojo jojo, mighty mike and of course, DJ Kimosabe (i'm not so sure with the spelling of his name...i don't care...I love hiphop!) I'd like to give special mention to CJ...he's my new little brother. For some reason, he chose to call me ATE KAT (surprisingly, I didn't mind although it really was an eye opener to me that I am getting old!)

I was so happy yesterday that I received a gift from CJ....my very own Kami nAPO Muna cd!!!!! I love Orange and Lemons' version of Yakap Sa Dilim, Kamikazee's version of Doo Bidoo, Barbie's version of When I Met You, Top Suzara's Anna, Moonstar88's Panalangin, and The Dawn's version of Bawa't Bata.

I am not really a fan of the Apo but I love the way that the bands of our generation put a twist on these legendary songs that have been part of everybody's history...some bands just played safe with the songs but most of the bands really made the songs their own...it was amazing!!! Kamikazee rocked with their own version (although I don't think lolo Danny, Bubuy and Jim are ecstatic about it...hahaha!)

The CD is definitely worth buying!!! Thanks to CJ for the cd!!!

Never Be Afraid To Cry...

2006-08-23T17:34:00.000+08:00

There was a study done where a control group of 100 people were divided into two.

50 people watched a very funny, tears-of laughter type movie.

50 watched a very sad and tears of compassion type movie.

At the end of the sessions researchers collected the "happy tears" and the "sad tears" with eye droppers.

They found that "happy tears" are made up of brine...salt water and not a great deal else.

However the "sad tears" were found to contain the very same chemicals and enzymes that are found in tumours, ulcers and other such lumps and bumps and sicknesses through out the body.

This test concluded that the body, when crying in sadness etc is literally flushing out all of the toxic-chemicals that accumulate and are a part of the sadness /heartache experience.

Therefore if one holds back those tears, those toxic-waters will find somewhere else to deposit themselves.....and prolonged lack-of-crying-release will guarantee that the body will accumulate a huge amount of internal pollution and toxicity that should have been released through the tears........is it any wonder that the eyes sting so much when we hold back our tears?"

So, never be afraid to cry....

FOR SALE: Olympus m:robe 500

2006-08-17T16:01:00.000+08:00

OLYMPUS M:ROBE 500 --touch screen music player digital camera.
20gigs, slightly used, very good condition..no scratches.. 12,000Php negotiable...contact me at 09178064769 for more info..

complete with box, case, cradle, usb cable, earphones, remote, cd software, manual, av out cables..

cash on delivery preferred especially those living in qc, ortigas or makati, wire transfer for those outside metro manila.

* Touch screen lets you effortlessly operate the m:robe 500i with the light touch of a finger.
* Connect the included stereo headphones, designed with a unique style for increased comfort and freedom, to enjoy your very own listening party.
* HOLD function lets you "lock" the m:robe 500i so no unintentional use occurs while it's being carried in a pocket or bag.
* Connects directly to your PC via the dedicated USB high-speed 2.0 cable. Or connect it by placing it in the supplied cradle and connecting the USB cable from the cradle to your PC.
* Battery indicator keeps you on top of the m:robe 500i's power supply so you'll always know whether you're ready to rock or ready to recharge.
* Use the m:robe 500i as an external hard drive for your PC.

MUSIC.
* Listen to approximately 5,000 songs with 20GB of internal memory.
* Easily transfer and organize your music files on your PC with the included m:tripTM Music/Photo Organization software.
* View track names, album cover art, elapsed track time, length of track, mode being used, song lyrics and more.
* Use the supplied MR-13 remote control to play music, add tracks to your Favorites list, switch listening modes, adjust the volume, and more.
* Select music tracks for playback from Favorites, Recently Played, My Top 20, Tracks with Lyrics and Unplayed Tracks categories.
* Find tracks by searching genre, album or even the release year of the song.
* Play tracks in Repeat mode or in Random order.
* Choose among 16 pre-set Equalizer settings or customize your own and listen to your music in the desired fashion.
* Synchronize your Music database between your m:robe and your m:tripTM software.
* Connect the included stereo headphones to enjoy your very own listening party.

PHOTOS.
* Store approximately 20,000 photos with 20GB of internal memory.
* Shoot, view and arrange photos in albums, including a Favorites album if you desire. (Photos can be set to 1280 x 960 or 640 x 480 resolution.)
* Easily transfer and organize your image files on your PC with the included m:tripTM Music/Photo Organization software.
* Search for photos by album name or date.
* Print photos by directly connecting the m:robe 500i to any PictBridge-enabled printer via the included USB high-speed 2.0 cable.
* Photo light provides increased illumination when taking pictures in dark or poorly lit conditions.
* View photos on a television using the supplied AV cable.
* Adjust picture-taking settings, set the date and time, choose a language and much more.
* Synchronize your Photo database between your m:robe and your m:tripTM software.

REMIX.
* Use the included m:trip software to combine music and images in one of four Remix templates (Flashback, Geometric, Tiles, and Birthday) and create your own mini movies with transitions, cinematic effects, motion and more.
* Watch remixes on a television using the supplied AV cable.
* Synchronize your Remix database between your m:robe and your m:tripTM software.

Save Me...

2006-08-11T17:32:00.000+08:00

I feel my wings have broken in your hands
i feel the words unspoken inside
when they pull you under
and i would give you any thing you want
you were all i wanted
all my dreams are fallin' down
crawlin round and round and round

Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through me
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just save me, save
Come on I've been waiting for you

i see the world has folded in your heart
i feel the waves crash down inside
and they pull me under
and i would give you anything you want
you were all i wanted
all my dreams have fallen down
crawlin round and round and round

all my dreams are on the ground
crawlin' round and round and round

Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through me
Somebody save me
i dont' care how you do it
just save me, save me
i've made this whole world shine for you
just save me, save
come on
i'm still waiting for you

Lex Luthor Cured Me...

2006-08-07T15:36:00.000+08:00

I've been in my room since friday. It's the flu season again and poor me, I was down with it since thursday night. Being as bored as hell, I decided to go and buy some dvds. My brother gave me a tip that there was a new dvd place near the house so I went to check out the selections. I was just supposed to buy season 2 of Lost and Desperate Housewives. Instead, I bought seasons 1 and 2 of Lost, seasons 1 and 2 of Desperate Housewives, and....seasons 1-5 of Smallville...that should keep me busy the whole weekend!

I am officially hooked with smallville. I am particulary interested with Lex Luthor. How did a good man like him become the villain that he is now? I guess I will have to find out. For now, kisses to you Lex...your mystery never ceases to amaze me.

Dream A Little Dream...

2006-08-03T12:53:00.000+08:00

I have always wanted to be in a magazine cover...hmmm....

Thanks to John and Louie for the dress, and to Adrian for taking the picture...
Photo taken at Bed Scene, Mall of Asia

Too Much Drama...

2006-08-02T02:18:00.000+08:00

I think I am attracting too much drama in my life...I hate it.

I remember my friend, who is an expert in energy reading, told me that I am anticipating a lot of drama to happen in my life that is why I am attracting a sort of negative vibe...I am starting to believe that he is true.

I wish that it was Sunday again. Hopefully things will be better. My world stopped again. I'm good as dead...I know I'll live, but man, the pain I am feeling right now is indescribable. My heart is being torn apart. I'm never falling in love again.

Birthday resolution: enough of the drama...I think I'll switch to action...or comedy. Care to comment?

What do you get when you fall in love?
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, he'll never phone you.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

Don't tell me what is all about,
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out,
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You get enough tears to fill an ocean
That's what you get for your devotion.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

All's Well That Ends Well...

2006-07-31T13:11:00.000+08:00

Last week was hell....I died again, for the millionth time...

Work was a disaster. My relationship was crumbling. My conscience was killing me because I betrayed a friend. So many major decisions were done this week. My body was weak.

Yesterday, I spent my sunday celebrating the birthday of K's mom. Apologies were made, love was in the air...again.

I had a quiet sunday dinner with the family again. We were complete.

It was the season ender of CSI (thank God, the cable was back).

Monday to Saturday was hell....but Sunday was worth the wait. It's true that if you really want to see the rainbow, you have to experience a lot of rain...

Hey Jelousy...

2006-07-25T03:17:00.000+08:00

In my job, I get to meet a lot of people, men in particular. Some would approach me to compliment the way I sing or look. Some would even be straightforward and ask for my number. I just smile and thank them for the lovely gesture and then I leave.

Despite the silent rule in 'showbusiness' that you always have to say that you're single, I have always been honest that I am in a relationship. That is one thing I am proud of. I would want to believe that people watch me not just because they want to hit on me but because they admire the way I sing and perform.

To all the guys reading this entry, here's a little piece of advice...just because your girlfriend compliments on a guy's looks, it doesn't mean that she is attracted to them or that she likes them. Please do not get jealous even if she says that your friend is good-looking. If she is attracted or likes someone, believe me, she wouldn't tell you straight to your face that he's handsome. So please bear in mind that jealousy can be healthy sometimes, but make sure you put it in it's place. It's not worth the pain you inflict to yourself and it's not worth the time.

Good night!

Duh!?! Can't You Tell?

2006-07-24T13:39:00.000+08:00

Ok....am I the only one who sees the very striking resemblance??? Duh! Perry, Lois and the rest of the guys working at the Daily Planet need to wear really high prescription glasses because they are totally blind. Lois!!! Wake up!

Do we really need a Savior?

2006-07-24T12:20:00.000+08:00

K and I decided to spend our friday evening watching a movie. Since we couldn't decide on what to watch --K wanted Nacho Libre, and I wanted Superman (my God! We were the only losers who haven't seen it yet!)--we just watched both movies.

Nacho Libre is a comedy about a monastary cook (Jack Black) who's dream is to become the greatest wrestler of all time and give all his earnings in wrestling to the orphans. He knew that he had a duty to be a savior to the orphans and since that was the only thing that he felt he was good at, he made sure that he brought home the prize. It's a funny movie. Jack Black did it again.

Superman.....what can I say? He's gorgeous! Kevin Spacey was soooo good in portraying Lex...overall, it was ok.

There was a conversation in the movie that struck me though. Lois Lane wrote an award-winning article called "Why The World Doesn't Need Superman". Superman said "You wrote that the world doesn’t need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one."

Superman, or Nacho Libre, may be fictional characters. But everyday, no matter who we are, we are always yearning for our saviors here on earth. We have our own saviors who make sure that we are safe, protected, out of danger, and loved. These saviors may be our family, boyfriends/girlfriends, officemates, friends, etc.

I hope that I could be a savior in someone's eyes....

Euphoria....Hysteria....

2006-07-18T17:39:00.000+08:00