Regrets...What If's....and Changing Ways

Why do we do things that we know we'll regret in the end? Why are people stubborn? We are all guilty of following our guts and then when everything is said and done, we realize that we should have just kept our mouth shut...or we should have just not done it...then we start bickering about our 'what ifs'.

And then after a few minutes, hours or days of pondering on how stupid, or should I say, how selfish we became, we end up committing another mistake. When will this cycle end?

I was once the kind of girl who would seize the day. I never held back. I was a risk taker. I hated the thought of regrets 'what ifs'. I would always go for the dive because I believe that life is too short and we only live once.

Now, everything has changed. I am starting to regret things that I have done. I am starting to get scared of doing things or saying something because I might end up doing the wrong thing. The ghosts of my past are starting to haunt me and all I can do is think and torture myself with memories. I cannot alter my past, nobody can.

Is this part of the aging process? How I wish there was such a place like Never Never Land. If there was, I'd probably buy a one-way ticket. How I wish Peter Pan would one day wake me up and sweep me off my feet to his place where people never grow up. But then, I know that's just wishful thinking.

I guess life is really a game of trial and error...you will never learn from your mistakes until you commit such mistakes. You don't just watch a movie and learn from it. Life is the best teacher. You have to experience it yourself. I guess I'll just have to sit back and enjoy this great rollercoaster ride. Bring it on!