The Meantime Guy (For My Single Friends)

Meantime Guy?

He's the one you call when you're bored because he makes you laugh. He's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because he's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. He's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. He's the one you spend time with between boyfriends, before you find "The One". You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime.

He's not one of the girls, but you don't look at him as a "real" man, either. He's not bad enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. He's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your female buddies are amused by. He's too understanding, too comfortable ; he doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" man does. But he's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate male companionship, he'll do just fine.

You don't have to wine and dine him because he knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of him. He's not easy, but you know that he cares about you and is attracted to you, and that he'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that he'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for him.

It won't bother him that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the man you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. He'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call him and tell him how the date went. He's just so cool . . . why can't all men be like that?!

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although he would never say it, it hurts him to know that despite all his good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think he's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly his fault, because he doesn't have to give in to your needs ; he could play the hard-to-get asshole like the rest of them do, if he really wanted to. But you and he both know that he probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe he's too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on his forehead, or works at Taco Bell.

Whatever the reason, somehow life has given him a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that women want (or think they want) in a man. So he remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching
for the man of your dreams who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a man.

You'll joke to him that he should be the best man at your wedding, and he'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.

He doesn't captivate you with his looks or open doors with his smile. Mainly he blends in with the crowd. He's safe. He doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But he wants to turn someone's head. He wants to be special to someone, too. We all do.

He has feelings. He has a heart. In fact, he probably has a bigger and better heart than any man you've ever known because he's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and he likes you anyway. He obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given him nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, he is.

Anyway, yeah. I'm a Meantime Guy. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don't know the reason, really, and at this point I don't even care. I just want to let every girl know who's ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Guy that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we won't be around...